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1986 560SL with M120 V12 Engine, 1988 560SL Stock
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10,226 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Some Things never change. Hears a memo from 1984


To: All Salary/Hourly Employees/Distribution On All Boards.
Fm: Jack Meoff, Personnel Services
Re: New Retirement Plan
Dt: May 9, 1984


As a result of the reduction in money budgeted for salary
purposes, we are required to cut down on the number of
employed personnel.

We are therefore instituting a plan under which older employees will go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who can better represent our future plans.

This program, which will phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year via early retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. The program shall be known as RAPE (Replacement of Aged Personnel Early).

Employees who are RAPE'D, will be given the opportunity to seek other jobs within our system, provided that while they are RAPE’D, they must request a review of their employment records before and not after the actual retirement takes place. This phase of the operation is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).

All employees who have been RAPE'D and SCREW'D, may also appeal to the Board of Directors for a complete review of their files, this will be called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
This program will provide that employees may only be RAPE'D once, SCREW'D twice, but can get the SHAFT as many times as the company sees fit, and as its discretion, seems appropriate.

JM:fu
 

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1993 600SL, 1973 450 SL,1982 380SL,1998 SLK 230, 1968 Firebird, 2001 Dodge Ram 4x4,2005 Ford Escape
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5,247 Posts
Man I'm glad I have been chronically unemployed as a General Contractor for 35 years ! Yikes. At leather the rapeing, screwing and shafting have been self inflicted :D
 

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1973 450SL-1968 911-1994 840ci-1967 Mustang
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590 Posts
Too funny...I've seen it before, but in today's employment market it really fits.
 
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