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Discussion Starter #1
An Irishman in a wheel chair entered a restaurant one afternoon and
asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across
the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The
waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a
cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched
back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the
waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and
asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman
said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, my treat.

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on
crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there,
sweet thang, how's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He, too,
looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass
of coke, on his bill.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him
and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the
strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out
the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For
your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back
straightening up, and he raised up his hands, praised the Lord and did a
series of backflips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneck jumped
up and yelled, "Don't touch me......I'm drawin' disability!!!!!"
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Three mice, one from Minnesota, one from Iowa and one
from Wisconsin are sitting at a bar after the funeral
of a Texas mouse killed trying to impress each other
about how tough they are.

The Minnesota mouse throws down a shot of bourbon,
slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the Iowa
mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my
back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes
down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty
times to work up an appetite, and then make off with
the cheese."

The Iowa mouse orders up two shots of tequila, drinks
them down one after the other, slams both glasses onto
the bar, turns to the Minnesota mouse and replies, Oh
yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I
can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it
to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz
going for the rest of the day."

The Minnesota mouse and the Iowa mouse then turn to
the Wisconsin mouse.

The Wisconsin mouse finishes the beer he has in front
of him, lets out a long sigh and says to the two, "I
don't have time for this bullshit. Gotta go home and
have sex with the cat."
 

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Discussion Starter #3
> > A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona and sees that the car's
> > oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out
> > of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas
> > station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around
> > town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides
> > that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of
> > vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real
> > mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice
> > cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's
> > found the problem. The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It
> > looks like you've blown a seal." "No, no", the penguin replies, wiping
> > his mouth, "it's just ice cream."
 

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> > A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona and sees that the car's
> > oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out
> > of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas
> > station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around
> > town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides
> > that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of
> > vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real
> > mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice
> > cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's
> > found the problem. The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It
> > looks like you've blown a seal." "No, no", the penguin replies, wiping
> > his mouth, "it's just ice cream."
Now how is it that he can drive a car but has trouble eating ice cream?
 
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