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Discussion Starter #1
by Paul Constant

I finally got my first cell phone three months ago, and I’m maybe the only person in the greater Seattle area with a landline. This is the only rational explanation I have for why John McCain keeps calling me at my house. In the last week, I’ve gotten robocalls from John McCain, Dave Reichert (telling me to vote for his “good friend John McCain”), Syndee (or however she spells it) McCain (telling me that I should vote for her husband John McCain and, by the way, not that it matters, but their brown babies are adopted and not illegitimate), and a poll (sponsored by John McCain) asking who I’m going to vote for in the Republican Primary.

Here’s what I’ve learned: I hate John McCain’s whimpering voice. He sounds pathetic, like I’ve hurt his feelings and he’s about to cry. His voice begs for pity, and that’s why it’s so silly to hear him talking about strong borders and strong right-wing judges and killing islammyfascists with our strong military cock and strong strong strong: He’s got the timbre and cadence of a grandpa who’s wet himself and is asking for help with the cleanup.

I’m so glad that the primaries are finally over today, so that I can go home and delete the nine more messages I’m sure I’ll have on my answering machine and know that that will be the end of it. The one good thing that I’ve gotten out of McCain’s hot and heavy phone crush on me? In the poll, I announced that I was for Huckabee and that my main reason for voting for him is Iraq. That ought to fuck with his pollsters for a little while.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Oh my gosh, I think they are trying to stir up the old brown baby stuff.
 
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