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So here I am finally popping my BenzWorld forum-post cherry!

It's nearing 10:10 AM in beautiful Vermont, so naturally, I'm already stoned as hell. Clearly my specs, facts, dates, and coordination all together are lost, but try to bear with me.

From about 4 years ago to around 8 months ago I was driving a 1992 Lincoln Town Car, white, and a chick magnet indeed. Really though, some serious blow jobs went down on that front bench seat. When I got it from my pops, who got it at an auction? from his dead aunt (does that kind of thing exist?), it was pristine as hell with about 50,xxx miles on it. Over the course of the years, not to mention living in Springfield, Mass. it got abused, and yes, by the locals. ..well at least the "prized" Lincoln emblem on the front getting snatched. To make a long story short, it's like that Senifeld episode, yadda yadda yadda, I hydroplaned and fucked the back end up pretty bad and sold it for a few hundred bucks. I'll have to say I do miss floating that boat on air suspension around corners, or putting my foot to the floor and experiencing my first virgin 8 cylinder.

Limited to about three grand I managed to save up, I knew I had two options- piece of shit new'ish car or a sweet older character-enriched whip. I chose the second. I checked craigslist probably 8 times a day, mainly Vermont, and would get a little ballsy sometimes (probably depending on the high) and check other surrounding states to hopefully spot the little gem.

That gem found me. Not really, I found it, but that sounds, obviously, way better that way.

1992 Mercedes-Benz 300E 4Matic was what the ad said and with a $3,000 price tag it was right up my alley, no homo, haha, no offense. It was literally posted minutes before I saw it, 1 minute later I emailed the guy, 4 hours later I was driving it the 20 miles home.

The moment I saw her, it, haha, I kind of already knew I was coppin' the freshest wheels this side of the Mississippi. She was perfect, her curves luscious and smoo, I better slow down before 1. My girlfriend dumps my ass fo r talking about a car like this or 2. I run to the kitchen and grab some paper towels to clean up what looks like someone hocked a loogie in a pool. It's THAT exciting. But seriously, this thing was pristine inside and out. Smallest bit of rust on the rear and front end but other than that no dings, no rips. Just something transported from 92', well with the 124,xxx miles on it. Yeah, I bought my W124 with 124,xxx miles on it, hop off the nuts, some things are just meant to be, unlike Kim Kardashian and any white guy, you saw the vid with Ray J, you blame her?

I hopped in her and these are all the things I noticed:
-First and foremost, how fucking good I looked in the rearview mirror, then the side mirror, then the passenger side mirror, then the rearview mirror again, haha.
-HEATED leather seats.
-Automatic locks.
-Sunroof.
-No dead bodies in the trunk, because we all know '92 Lincoln Town Cars come fully equipped with at least 4 dead bodies stuffed in the trunk. JOKE, easy feds.
-All the air worked, all the gauges and lights worked. Even the button to drop the headrests on the backseats worked. By this point, in the drivers seat, I said to myself, "if this thing turns on, can go in drive AND reverse i'm buying it!"...yeah, reverse is BIG these days.
-Almost perfect IN and OUT bottom line.

The dude let me and my buddy just hop in and take it for a spin. And a spun? we went. ...and a reverse spun? we also went? haha. Smooth shifts with plenty of power left in that Inline-6.

Came back, started the bidding at $2,600, yeah I know I low-balled and should have said $2,500. He says 29, I say 27. He says deal. Yeah, don't ask me, twenty-seven $100 bills go from my pocket to his. One beautiful W124 goes to his guyyy. I mean it is 4matic, should it have ever even been a question?

I've put about 4,000 miles on it, and praise mutha fuckin Jehovah, because this thing is a life changer. I mean the sheer fact that I live in Vermont and went from a million-pound RWD boat to a three-quarter million pound AWD four-wheel drive car does it. Not to mention the millions of other reasons...

Cherry-post popped. High's wearing off..Hope you enjoyed my veHICKle story, that is if you ever made it this far.

Oh, and plans for the immediate future:
-Euro Spec Headlights
-Borrow my buddies AMG wheels for summers haha until I..
-Buy a RWD sports car...at...some...point.
 

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I dunno about those AMG wheels I might be saving those for the 95!!
 

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Not impressed with the front seat BJ stories or the "..up my alley, no homo..." comment. That coupled with all the tough-talking street posing drivel, pretty much sums things up for me....on first impression. But you do have a nice car...now. Hopefully you won't treat it like the Town Car. 4matics have fallen in price over the last few yrs, because of their potential issues. If you have issues with the 4matic, we can help. But you'll probably need better language, drop the act and get real. Good luck with the car.:thumbsup:

Kevin
 

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As far as first posts go, I'd grade that as a D-. Just stick to yer car and your PG rated experiences with the car. Capiche?
 

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As far as first posts go, I'd grade that as a D-. Just stick to yer car and your PG rated experiences with the car. Capiche?
Thank you for that......although rarely stated, there is a certain decorum here on this forum that I like. We only use fowl language to accent a point or in anger and it's usually abbreviated. And thankfully, we skate over the sexual/political stuff 99% of the time. This OP is a perfect example of what can happen if you have no rules or taste.

Kevin
 

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Sounds like a typical "fuhgittaboutit" East coast wiseguy. Unfortunately he was as welcome as a you know what in a punch bowl. Another reason to avoid Vermont.
Anziani
 

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Sounds like a typical "fuhgittaboutit" East coast wiseguy. Unfortunately he was as welcome as a you know what in a punch bowl. Another reason to avoid Vermont.
Anziani
LOL!...I wouldn't rule out Vermont for the remote possibility of stepping on one turd.

Kevin
 
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