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Outstanding Contributor Always Remembered RI
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Five Things Women Do That Frighten Men Off

Men are like wild horses: they scare easy. There are lots of things women do that can set blokes off at a gallop, but luckily the man-whisperer is here to help. Match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor reveals the top five frights you might be giving men, and how to avoid them


1. Insta-Coupling
Women often say that men are scared of commitment. Newsflash: they’re not. What they’re scared of is commitment too soon, and “too soon” simply means “before he’s thought of it himself”. You can’t be the one leading the way when it comes to anything like spending more time together, becoming exclusive, moving in or getting married. All you can do is set your own personal time-limit and then quietly leave when it’s time to get out.
This starts right from the beginning. When you meet a new man, never make the mistake of letting him feel you have a boyfriend-shaped vacancy in your life that he can just hop straight into. Don’t start calling to say, “Hello” and “Good night” every day, or immediately start inviting him along to all your plans. It’s not flattering to him, he wants to feel he’s having to win you over by his sheer amazingness. Let him feel your life is full and fulfilling already – and if it’s not, slap yourself and go get busy -- and that he has to create a boyfriend vacancy by himself, by thinking of ways to please you.

2. Insecurity
The first three months of a relationship should be easy and fun, happy and light-hearted. It’s not the time to tell him your thighs are completely different sizes, you’ve always hated your hands and that you can’t get through a day at work without crying. We’re all insecure but your boyfriend is not the place to seek comfort and reassurance in the early stages. To understand this, you have to realise that men and women bond in different ways. Men only tell problems to one another when they’re looking for solutions – we do it as a way to break the ice. If you confess everything you secretly dislike about yourself to a new man, he’ll assume you’re wanting him to “fix” it all, and feel overwhelmed. He’ll start thinking, “Wow – this girl seems to have a lot of stuff going on at the moment. I can’t cope with all this, I have my stuff too.” Instead, act as if you truly like yourself.

3. Be too nice
“Whatever you want!” “I don’t mind which film we watch!” “I’ll have what you’re having!” When a woman really likes a man, she sometimes stops voicing her opinions and begins blending into his world as much as she can, to keep his approval. (This often happens after nookie.) Instead of being the sassy, independent-thinker her man originally fell in love with, the girl begins to turn away from everything she likes, and turn towards his interests instead. She swaps her TV dramas for his sports shows, wears the clothes he likes her in and forgets all her hobbies because HE has become her main hobby. Attractive? So, so not. Turning yourself into his Mini-Me will take all the fun out of the relationship. You’ll lose confidence, stop pursuing your goals and he’ll start distrusting you – if he doesn’t know when you’re unhappy, he won’t know when you’re happy. Keep your spicy edge. If he teases you about watching Come Dine With Reality Tattooed Brides every week, ignore him – and keep watching it. He wants to date an equal.

4. Try to make him jealous
Occasionally, if you feel your man is losing interest in you, you might feel tempted to make him a little bit jealous. Should you give in to this temptation? Very, very cautiously. Truth is, if a man loves you, he will automatically feel you’re pursued by other men all the time. He’ll think you’re so beautiful that you can’t get on a bus without men circling your seat like slavering wolves. So if you bring this to his attention too obviously, he will think, “What’s she really trying to tell me here?” He’ll see it as a game and it’ll irritate him. Imagine how you’d feel if he came home from work saying, “Woah – the new PA just couldn’t keep her eyes off me today!”
Instead, just look your very best and keep your life as happy and busy as possible. Occasionally be busy at weekends. Keep going out with the girls. Keep working-out at the gym. Go away on holiday without him sometimes. Take every opportunity to meet new people. Keep putting yourself in places where he’ll worry you’ll meet someone better than him, and he’ll keep on his best behaviour around you.

5. Over-reacting
Men like a spirited, strong woman, that’s for sure. But they see “strong” in a very specific way. To men, a strong woman is not the girl who shouts at him every time he looks at another woman, lets rip when he comes home late or lectures him on how he’s let her down. A real sign of strength is poise – don’t let him see that he gets to you. He’ll be far more concerned about losing you if you calmly and briefly tell him what’s wrong and say you’ll see him again when he’s fixed it (then leave him alone), than if you yell and threaten and cry but remain right by his side. If you keep reacting emotionally, he’ll see you as out-of-control and weak and he’ll retreat.
At all times, keep your eyes focussed on your goals in life aside from him. Work, work out, see your friends. Do this even when you want to be with him all the time – do it especially when you want to be with him all day. Keep your life moving. Give him space and freedom naturally by being happy in your own skin whether he’s there or not. That’s when you’ll frighten him in the best way – that one day you might disappear – and he’ll work to secure you forever.



http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylt=Atou7loJvqtQVEfd1NAuc5wjXKF4;_ylu=X3oDMTRtZDJwc3YzBG1pdANMb3ZlIGFuZCBTZXggRWRpdG9ycyBQaWNrcyBNYXRjaARwa2cDMTUwYWM1MjktNDZmNi0zMzk1LWFjMTctNTJhNjkyMzhhNjA4BHBvcwMyBHNlYwNNZWRpYUZlYXR1cmVkQ2Fyb3VzZWwEdmVyAzE2Y2I3MGRlLWYwMWEtMTFlMC04YmMwLTFjYzFkZTAzNTA4OA--;_ylg=X3oDMTNiM3ZnOXYzBGludGwDZ2IEbGFuZwNlbi1nYgRwc3RhaWQDYWZiYmJmNDUtYmJjOC0zOWY2LThjMzctMzQ3M2RiYTcwNGVmBHBzdGNhdANsb3ZlYW5kc2V4fGRhbmp1YW4EcHQDc3RvcnlwYWdlBHRlc3QD;_ylv=0/SIG=14e3d9fug/EXP=1322920732/**http://uk.match.yahoo.net/edito/index.php?mtcmk=080405&name=5/148/2438-five-things-women-do-that-frighten-men-off.html
 

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Outstanding Contributor Always Remembered RI
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1, 3 and 4 scared me off the last girl I was dating. She was begging me to be her boyfriend day in and day out, she never had any of her own opinions, when everything else failed she tried making me jealous by talking about going out to the mall shopping with an ex over the phone. Needless to say she didn't hear back from me after that. If only she had a bit of personality... My voicemail was full from all the messages she left saying she was sorry and was joking about the whole thing. I changed my number and that's the end of that chapter.
 

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the thing a woman will do that instantly scares me off is wanting a second date.
Never had one of them yet, guess its the hot dog with fries that puts em off, fu## em I will have to stick with the one I married, opps (second one I married). I see a vacancy yet:D Maybe why I have 29k posts on this forum alone, sheesh.
 

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A man's translation of the above:

#1: true, but for a different reason. Come on too quick, and we get the idea you just want a man, any man, and we're random chance. Sort of like us being interested in you only because you have big boobies. Are we a person to you, or just an object? Rarely, there is immediate magnetism, you just know this person is someone you really want to be with, but usually both people can sense this. I knew two women like that. Lost the first one to circumstance, we were going in different directions. Married the second one.

#2: Ever met a woman or man who didn't have some insecurities? If you don't have self doubts, you're insufferably arrogant. Duh... would you women want us pouring out what we think is wrong with ourselves immediately? Oh, my gut is too big, my hair is starting to thin, my Benz has ugly wheels... You'd drop us like a hot potato. Just imagine the man saying to you what you're saying to them... see what I mean?

#3: Agreeing too much gets back to #1, you just want any man. We don't like that, because we're not seeing the real person. We wonder what you'll be like once the ring goes on and it costs an arm and a leg to get out of it.

#4: That's bullshit. Try to make me jealous, and I'll go find one that doesn't. If you have to play games like that, you're with the wrong person.

#5: Another duh moment. It's not that women overreact, they just react strongly to different things. They think putting a scratch on our Benz is nothing, and wonder why we 'overreact' to that regrettable event. We think cracking off a good fart is a healthy thing to do, they get bent out of shape whenever someone toots the trouser horn.

I find quiet confidence to be quite sexy. The thought is: I don't have to have a man in my life. I choose you because you're special, not because you're there, and I'm not desperate to hold on to you. That'll keep a man around. Don't make my life your life, keep your life going and let's expand each other's horizons.

Other things that keep a man's interest: Strong character, hefty breasts, tight bum, slender waist. If your dad owns a liquor store or a Benz dealership, that helps too.
 

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Can't believe it has been almost 20 years. Who says dysfunction can't work? You either gel or you don't, the pieces fit or they won't, you compromise and continue to work, or you don't.

I would like to add that I can't stand either sex whining about being alone when they are too picky or set in their ways to allow another entity into their reality. If you need to be single that is fine, accept it, nothing wrong with that.
 

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the thing a woman will do that instantly scares me off is wanting a second date.
Hey now big girls need love too.
 

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3. Be too nice
“Whatever you want!” “I don’t mind which film we watch!” “I’ll have what you’re having!” When a woman really likes a man, she sometimes stops voicing her opinions and begins blending into his world as much as she can, to keep his approval. (This often happens after nookie.) Instead of being the sassy, independent-thinker her man originally fell in love with, the girl begins to turn away from everything she likes, and turn towards his interests instead. She swaps her TV dramas for his sports shows, wears the clothes he likes her in and forgets all her hobbies because HE has become her main hobby. Attractive? So, so not. Turning yourself into his Mini-Me will take all the fun out of the relationship. You’ll lose confidence, stop pursuing your goals and he’ll start distrusting you – if he doesn’t know when you’re unhappy, he won’t know when you’re happy. Keep your spicy edge. If he teases you about watching Come Dine With Reality Tattooed Brides every week, ignore him – and keep watching it. He wants to date an equal.






I'm not saying this doesn't happen, it's just that I've never seen it from any woman I've ever been with.

I think the most common mistake women make that gets men running for the hills is to try to fix his faults and transform him into their vision of Prince Charming.

This never ends well.
 

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...I think the most common mistake women make that gets men running for the hills is to try to fix his faults and transform him into their vision of Prince Charming.

This never ends well.

If any of the BWOT atheists/agnostics ever met DP and the missus, they'd swear she was a saint before remembering their convictions.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
3. Be too nice
“Whatever you want!” “I don’t mind which film we watch!” “I’ll have what you’re having!” When a woman really likes a man, she sometimes stops voicing her opinions and begins blending into his world as much as she can, to keep his approval. (This often happens after nookie.) Instead of being the sassy, independent-thinker her man originally fell in love with, the girl begins to turn away from everything she likes, and turn towards his interests instead. She swaps her TV dramas for his sports shows, wears the clothes he likes her in and forgets all her hobbies because HE has become her main hobby. Attractive? So, so not. Turning yourself into his Mini-Me will take all the fun out of the relationship. You’ll lose confidence, stop pursuing your goals and he’ll start distrusting you – if he doesn’t know when you’re unhappy, he won’t know when you’re happy. Keep your spicy edge. If he teases you about watching Come Dine With Reality Tattooed Brides every week, ignore him – and keep watching it. He wants to date an equal.






I'm not saying this doesn't happen, it's just that I've never seen it from any woman I've ever been with.

I think the most common mistake women make that gets men running for the hills is to try to fix his faults and transform him into their vision of Prince Charming.

This never ends well.
This is so true, they spend years trying to change their man and when they have finished, they say you are not the man I married and want a divorce.
 

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I must have gotten lucky, mine has never tried to change me, well except how I dress, how I think, how I eat, who I can hang out with, what I can and cant say, how to spend her money, how I clean, who I can and cant say hello too, where I can put my stuff, when to take out the trash, how to leave the toilet, how to clean her car, how to cook food, how to wash clothes, how to breathe, how to take a bath, how to comb my hair, what sunglasses I can wear, which side of the PINK bed that belongs to her I can sleep on, when I have to go to bed, what I do on sunday mornings, how to poop, What decorations I can and cant put up, how to mow the grass, how to wash her windows, what radio stations I can listen too, the type of coffee I can drink, what shoes to wear, what job I could work at.


Yea I got pretty lucky she dont try to change me.







Fucking bitch. lol.
 

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I must have gotten lucky, mine has never tried to change me, well except how I dress, how I think, how I eat, who I can hang out with, what I can and cant say, how to spend her money, how I clean, who I can and cant say hello too, where I can put my stuff, when to take out the trash, how to leave the toilet, how to clean her car, how to cook food, how to wash clothes, how to breathe, how to take a bath, how to comb my hair, what sunglasses I can wear, which side of the PINK bed that belongs to her I can sleep on, when I have to go to bed, what I do on sunday mornings, how to poop, What decorations I can and cant put up, how to mow the grass, how to wash her windows, what radio stations I can listen too, the type of coffee I can drink, what shoes to wear, what job I could work at.



Trade ya for the one that stabbed me.
 
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