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1986 560 SL
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Horny divorcee eyes up the bagboy at the grocery store checkout.
“My you’re a big strong boy. Will you help me out to my car with the bags.”
“Yes m’am”
“Do you have girlfriend?”
“No m’am.”
“We’ll I have a pretty itchy pussy.”
“You’ll have to point it out m’am. I don’t know one Japanese car from another.”
 

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RMS Titanic was a British passenger liner, operated by the White Star Line, which sank in the North Atlantic Ocean on 15 April 1912 after striking an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton, UK, to New York City, United States. Of the estimated 2,224 passengers and crew aboard, more than 1,500 died, making it the deadliest sinking of a single ship up to that time.[a
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Legend of the U.S.S. Titanic
Song by Jaime Brockett
 

· Outstanding Contributor , Bob's Your Uncle!
83 280 SL- 5 speed-The PIG
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35,577 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,664 ·
FROM: MrElbe


A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.
The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party.

Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife saddled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there.”

- "Did you dance much ?”

- "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Ian, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."
 

· Outstanding Contributor , Bob's Your Uncle!
83 280 SL- 5 speed-The PIG
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35,577 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,665 ·
FROM: MrElbe


When I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were guest preachers at a nearby church, I decided to go there and check them out in person.

As soon as I sat down, Reverend Sharpton came over to me. I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the church? He laid his hands on my shoulder and said: " By the will of Jesus the Lord Almighty, and the will of God, you will walk today." I told him I was not paralyzed.

Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: " By the Grace of God, and his Son Jesus, the Lord Almighty, you will walk today." Again, I said that there is nothing wrong with me.

After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold they were right...

My car was gone.
 

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1974 450SL; 1961 Besasie X-3 (being restored)
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Sky Vehicle Aircraft Airplane Air travel


An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly an Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"
He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?"
The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"
The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?
Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"
The Airbus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."
The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.
This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.
Dedicated to all my senior friends ~ it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip.
🤗
❤
 
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