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1988 560SL triple black
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271 Posts
Wife: the sink has a leak.
Husband : I’m not a plumber.
Wife: cabinet doesn’t close right.
Husband: I am not a carpenter.
Wife: the neighbor fixed the sink and the cabinet today.
Husband:What did he want in return?
Wife: He said I could bake him a cake or have sex with him.
Husband: What kind of cake did you make for him?
Wife: I am not a baker.
 

· Registered
1988 560SL triple black
Joined
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271 Posts
An old woman was sipping a glass of wine while sitting on the patio with her husband and she says " I love you so much. I don't know how I could ever live without you."
Her husband asks: " Is that you or the wine talking? "
She replies: " It's me... talking to the wine "
 

· Registered
1988 560SL triple black
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271 Posts
My wife, Judy, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Judy was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came home and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.
Judy wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.)
Judy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."
The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them I just never saw one mounted and framed." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
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