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post #611 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 09:11 AM Thread Starter
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Damn, busted... you found the part I so cleverly hid by including the full quote.

I swear you must be a glutton for punishment.
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post #612 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 10:33 AM
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And you sir, are just the mouthpiece of Elon Musk, to be called out every time you make another over-hyped half-truth claim about the superiority of your Master's product.

Now. Isn't it time for you to pop round to Elon's house, drop your pants and assume the position?
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post #613 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 01:53 PM
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How crashworthy is electrical tape?

https://youtu.be/2o7AZQZ8kvo
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post #614 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 02:44 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IWantedaJag View Post
And you sir, are just the mouthpiece of Elon Musk, to be called out every time you make another over-hyped half-truth claim about the superiority of your Master's product.

Now. Isn't it time for you to pop round to Elon's house, drop your pants and assume the position?


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post #615 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 05:22 PM
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How crashworthy is electrical tape?

https://youtu.be/2o7AZQZ8kvo
Don't tell me. It's the electrical tape of the year. Gets further on one roll than any other electrical tape. Will out accelerate Ferarri electrical tape and is faster round the Nurnburgring than Porsche electrical tape. Its the fastest selling brand of electrical tape in Norway. And the safest electrical tape in Europe.

Not only that but it manages to simultaneously be "performance" electrical tape, "luxury" electrical tape AND "affordable" electric tape too.
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Last edited by IWantedaJag; 07-17-2019 at 05:25 PM.
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post #616 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-18-2019, 01:19 AM Thread Starter
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post #617 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-19-2019, 10:14 AM
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https://upjoke.com/tesla-jokes

New Teslas don't come with a new car smell, they come with an Elon Musk. [Similar jokes deleted]
If you ever own a Tesla and it gets stolen... then it's called an Edison.
You can't Tokyo Drift in a Tesla, ou can only do the Electric Slide
Newton, Pascal and Tesla were playing hide and go seek. For the first round, Tesla was the seeker. He began counting to 100 and Pascal scurried off to find somewhere to hide. However, Newton simply drew a square on the ground and stepped into it. When Tesla finished counting he opened his eyes to see Newton standing in front of him, not even attempting to hide. "Found you!" He exclaimed. "No," Newton calmly replied, pointing at the square he was standing in, "You have found one Newton per metre squared. You have found Pascal."
How Do You Know Someone Drives A Tesla? They’ll tell you.
Ford is creating a new company to manufacture electric vehicles using Tesla software and batteries. They're naming it Edison.
Tesla briefly investigated reusable bio engines made from plants. Wooden car body, wooden wheels and a wooden engine. It wooden go.
I’m so sick of Tesla jokes. They’re revolting
What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison.
What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company? 3Musketeers
My brother picked up a Tesla a few months back and it spoiled him for other cars. So last night, I pick him up from the airport in my old Yaris. After a few minutes of driving, he says, “We need to get you into something all-electric.” Looking back, I reply, “Best I can afford is a bathtub with a plugged in toaster.”
There are two reasons why I don’t let my girlfriend get long rides in my Tesla. Firstly because I don’t have a girlfriend, secondly I don’t have a Tesla.
What do you call someone who steals a Tesla? Felon Musk.
Tesla has announced an Alexa speaker. It is supposed to be quite elonquent.
The all new self-driving Tesla has a shower facility in it. Time to get rid of that Musk
What do you call a place of religious worship for Tesla cars? An Elon Mosque
In this age of Teslas and other eco-conscious cars, what would Jesus drive? Duh, a Christler.
Einstein and Tesla walked into a bar...but Edison walked into a pascal.
Where was Elon Musk when he decided to start Tesla? Mad-at-gas-car.
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Some people say Tesla’s interiors all smell the same...
Sort of like an Elon Musk.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Tesla? A porcupine carries it’s pricks on the outside.
Who is Tesla's favorite band? AC/DC.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla Model S? The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year
Why does Mr. T like to drive Teslas? Cuz he pities the fuel
Before you say Tesla backwards Make sure everything is alset.
Why did Elon Musk send a Tesla into outer space? When NASA sent a Challenger up, it didn't go so well.
Did you hear what they’re calling this Tesla scandal? Elongate, it’s gonna be really drawn out.
Italian Chefs can now get an exclusive software update for their Tesla. It's been named Carpatchio
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I bought a Tesla and went to prison. I got charged with battery.
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A car thief hijacked a Tesla, but didn't get very far. He surrendered the vehicle to avoid battery charges.
Man, I really want a Tesla Roadster...But the price keeps skyrocketing!
Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie. He should've watched the trailer.
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Nikola Tesla was in trouble - he had not done his electrical studies assignment and his teacher was not happy... His teacher asks, "well, where is it?". Searching for a legitimate excuse, Tesla says, "I did it - but the dog ate my ohmwork".
Journalist: “What’s the model name of the upcoming SUV?” Elon Musk: ’Y’. Journalist: “Because I’m asking.” Musk: “And I’m telling you.” Journalist: “So if you’re telling me, what did you say it’s called?” Musk: ‘Y’ Journalist: “Why?” Musk: “Exactly.”<... read more
99 dead in Tesla autopilot car crash. This has caused Tesla to drop all ideas of a battle Royale mode for Tesla cars
Elon Musk's [and Trump’s] Twitter is like a Tesla Model S.. It goes from 0 to 100 in 1.9 seconds.
A dyslexic guy bought a Tesla. He thought it’s a Steal.
Apple has partnered with Tesla to make a new Car, but they are having trouble installing windows
How can you see that a Tesla is on AutoPilot? It uses its turn indicators.
Tesla have announced they are going to build the worlds biggest battery. Yet it still won't last a day on an iPhone.
A homeless man meets a rich man on Christmas Eve. The homeless man asks the rich man, "What'd ya get for your wife this year?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Tesla." The homeless man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them....
A snail bought a Tesla Model S. The snail then took off driving at a high rate of speed. As he sped past a famous French restaurant, the chef exclaimed, "Wow, look at that S car go".
By launching a Tesla to Mars Space X has accomplished the primary goal of the Boring Company. Avoiding LA traffic!
I hope Elon Musk sent the Tesla to space with some change. He’ll need some way to pay the parking meteor.
Elon's opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention...Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?
Elon Musk is coming out with a new Tesla model. The Model Ex... it's going to be the most expensive Telsa to date.
What's the scandal when Tesla promises their cars can travel farther than they really can? Elongate
What dance did Nikola Tesla invent at the playground? The Electric Slide
Two friends chat and one brags about his new car. “So I got a new Tesla Model X, it drives itself!” “Nice! Where is it?” “No idea...”
You know, Nikola Tesla was famous for changing his mind. In fact, when his colleagues would ask his opinion on a subject he would often just reply, "Oh, I don't know. My thoughts on the matter are alternating currently.
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post #618 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-19-2019, 10:51 AM Thread Starter
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Jagman suffers from tourette syndrome and he keeps spitting the word Tesla at any opportunity. Now is so bad he's doing in on other threads that have nothing to do with Tesla.

^No joke.
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post #619 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-19-2019, 12:11 PM
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Jagman suffers from tourette syndrome and he keeps spitting the word Tesla at any opportunity. Now is so bad he's doing in on other threads that have nothing to do with Tesla.

^No joke. [IMG class=inlineimg]https://www.benzworld.org/forums/images/smilies/rotfl.gif[/IMG][IMG class=inlineimg]https://www.benzworld.org/forums/images/smilies/rotfl.gif[/IMG][IMG class=inlineimg]https://www.benzworld.org/forums/images/smilies/rotfl.gif[/IMG]
Yeah. I'm being paid by JLR to slag Tesla's off at every opportunity I get. 10 cents a slagging. It's a "target rich environment".
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post #620 of 724 (permalink) Old 07-19-2019, 12:13 PM
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I notice you've DUCKed or should that be DUCT the story about Tesla's being held together with electrical TAPE AND how BADLY Tesla3 performed in actual crash testing, I.e. where actual impacts occur...

Still waiting for instructions?
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