"Stereo" rant...

[bakert]

Hey folks-
Recently picked up a black 03' CLK55 (had an 01, traded it on a 997, hated it, now back in a CLK.. long story) .
Anyway, I'm sorting through the mechanical bits and bobs, polishing swirl marks, removing bling-tastic tail lamp tint and combing the forums here for tips, and last week I was tweaking the audio settings on the COMAND head unit to get some more rear fill. Imagine my surprise when I adjusted the fader all the way to the back and all I heard was some mid-bass thump, no highs. I *assumed* the rear amp was dead or disconnected. I popped the speaker grilles off, and A) one had some paper cone woofer-like device and B) the other was frickin' empty! Needless to say, it was actually working, but WTF? Is it me, or are there NO rear speakers in this entire car besides that one paper woofer?
I don't think I have the upgraded audio (if there was such a package) although one rear grill has the ubiquitous Bose branding. Do most of you have the same thing- a modern, moderately expensive high-performance car with the gadgetry of 3 normal vehicles, riddled with fiber optics and computer bits, and one lousy speaker for the entire rear? I could see if it was a two-seater, but even my 911 (notorious for sh*tty sound) had 10 or 11 speakers and the back seat only consisted of two curved plastic/leather velcroed lumps.
I'm stunned.
I'll readily admit that I'm an opinionated SOB who dislikes Bose and is annoyed that their greatest innovation is their marketing expertise, but give me a break.
Thoughts?