I really do feel for you, I've had some expensive things on my E420...
A few things I've learned and maybe you can benefit from:
1. If you know enough about your car and its parts, try to supply your own parts. I routinely save about 50% on parts simply by ordering OEM parts from
Auto Parts at AutohausAZ - OEM Auto Parts - Discount Replacement Parts, Resources and Car Care Tips. They are very good and expedient and got my parts to in about 10 days (from Arizona to Canada - very fast!).
2. Throttle actuator...is your car ASR or non-ASR? I had to replace mine (ASR) about half a year ago, the part alone was 2k, the labour for diagnosis about 4 hours (100/hour), plus 4 hours to install it...rough...almost 3k for that repair. This was before I knew about autohaus...my AC compressor still needs replacing, dealership wants 1500$ for the part alone, can get it on autohaus for about 500$...it ALWAYS PAYS TO SHOP AROUND.
With regards to YOUR actuator, I understand it was installed recently, BUT was it done at the licensed dealership? The MB specialist that works on my car couldn't install the actuator for me because it took some programming tool that only the dealership had...perhaps your part is fine but not programmed correctly? Maybe you should see if the dealership could just try reprogramming it (about 3 hours of labour w/o parts maybe approx 400$ instead of 2500).
3. Your symptoms sort of sound like my recent problem...rough idle and sometimes stalling all together...this got progessively worse until the car wouldn't start at all. My problem was the fuel pumps...perhaps your are weak or dead? Replacing the pumps (2pumps on my car, may only be 1pump for yours) was about 700$ including all parts and labour. Changing the fuel filter was a good move even if it didn't fix the prob...filthy fuel filters may lead to pump failure.
As per the car in general, yes they are expensive and sometimes tempermental...but they are very classy and most importantly, extremely safe. If you have a wife/girlfriend/kids etc. there is no other vehicle on the road that I'd like them to be in...MB safety is legendary. Maintenance is expensive but worth the investment (ie. spend 50$/year on fuel filters instead of 800$ every 5 years on blown pumps).
Cheers and good luck with the car!