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one liners funny friday-ish

59K views 311 replies 53 participants last post by  DecoThom 
#1 ·
Short jokes lets have a few, no long ass crud, just one liners, shorter the better.


Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in the world if blind people were given pointed sticks?
 
#5 ·
Dwarf shortages
 
#6 ·
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly

A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn’t first place.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

Why do most men die before their wives? They want to.

Doctor examines a man and says "you have 5 penis'...how do your pants fit", The man said "Like a glove".

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge say's "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "That's great, let's get started."

:)
 
#17 ·
I am thinking about changing one of those "Baby On Board" signs to Baby I'm Bored.
 
#18 ·
You might be a ******* if you have to climb a water tower with a can of paint to defend your sister's honor.
 
#19 ·
What's the difference between a BMW driver and Bigfoot? One of them is hairy and smelly, and the other one's got big feet.
 
#20 ·
My buddy Joe was hit by lightning on the 13th hole. So, for the next 5 holes it was hit the ball, drag ole' Joe, hit the ball, drag ole' Joe.
 
#25 ·
Psychiatrists say that if you are all stressed out and play golf, quit; if you don’t play golf, start.
 
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