My wife got selected as a juror today - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:11 PM Thread Starter
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My wife got selected as a juror today

Lucky girl, I think.
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:23 PM
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Toothpaste trick if you want out
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:29 PM Thread Starter
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Toothpaste trick if you want out
Which is?
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:31 PM
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She didn’t say a word during voir dire, right?
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:32 PM
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take some toothpaste and use it just before you're called in to the bench to see if you're fit. Put it in your mouth and make it foam. Crossing your eyes will even boost your chances of being dismissed.
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:33 PM
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outfits featuring KKK or Nazi insignia also go down well during the empaneling process...

Ross

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beware of fundamentalists

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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:35 PM Thread Starter
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She didn’t say a word during voir dire, right?
As a matter of fact she did. She wanted to demonstrate how biased she was. Yeah, right.
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:37 PM
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Absolutely, it's a form of freedom of speech. Last year when I was called in there was this guy who told the judge that he hated black people, he got dismissed and to his delight even kicked out off the process. Usually when you get dismissed, you're recycled back in for another round during that day.
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:37 PM
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These might work.

* I can tell if people are guilty by looking at them.
* I'm attracted to you, your honor.
* If a police officer told me I was a bug, I would believe him.
* Is it murder if I haven't been caught?
* My religion prohibits me from sitting near other people.
* Would I have to bathe?
* Can each of my personalities vote in deliberations?
* Laws are for sissies.
* Your marshall's handcuffs are turning me on.
* I'm allergic to justice.
* I'm deaf. (Answer questions thereafter by cupping hand and shouting "What?")
* A pit bull named [defendant's first name] just killed my baby.
* I have Tourette's Syndrome, you fucking asshole.
* I get dizzy if I try to weigh evidence.
* Have you ever done this, your honor? (Chop off your ear with a razor).
* An eye for an eye? I say we take his head for an eye! (Point at defendant).

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-22-2009, 07:44 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by drewprof View Post
Absolutely, it's a form of freedom of speech. Last year when I was called in there was this guy who told the judge that he hated black people, he got dismissed and to his delight even kicked out off the process. Usually when you get dismissed, you're recycled back in for another round during that day.
Unfortunately she didn't have guts I think.

Since the defendant is from Argentina, it would be appropriate to say: "I hate all Latinos and I think they all are criminals and/or illegals." Such a statement would fly high in SF, CA I am sure.

Last edited by maine_coon; 05-22-2009 at 07:54 PM.
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