Date registered: Jan 2005
Vehicle: 2008 PT, 1998 neon--1965 VW 1200
Location: Birmingham, Alabama
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Suspicious minds, Co-dependence and Catching a Cheat.
There were a couple of guys-- handsome fellas with endearing personalities and senses of humor. These two guys decided to make a go of it and to try it together.
Two weeks in, one of the two, A, realizes B has a problem with alcohol dependence. He finds out a month later that B has been in and out of treatment for said problem. At this point, A decides to leave because two men in his life have lost their lives to alcohol dependence. B promises to stop drinking so heavily. A stays and falls deeper.
B urges A to allow him access to A's banking, and A reluctantly refuses-- "he will stop loving me if I don't trust him." but B finally wins out and A allows him access to his bank account. A month of happiness follows-- A and B are saving at a good pace-- They've almost got enough to buy a new car! B's past banking then creeps up, draining the account to nothing-- $300 below that, even.
A feels betrayed and lied to-- B assured him he would be responsible!! Problems ensue, and A feels he can no longer trust B as he once did, but is willing to go ahead. Things can't stay bad long, he thinks.
B then works A up into a mad frenzy in bed, only to expect intercourse without protection-- A refuses. B rolls over and ignores A. Repeat the next day. On the third day, A does for himself using a computer IM as 'material.' B walks in and catches A-- A hastily closes windows and is obviously guilty.
B then proceeds to hammer A with accusations of cheating, chronic cheating, even. B does this for a week, until A breaks and has a meltdown. A really does think it was innocent fantasy fulfillment without risking he or B's health, but also accepts B's feelings and concern. A suggests counseling to help remedy the issue. B refuses.
A week has passed, and B is still throwing guilt, is still shaming A and has begun the detachment process by placing a lock on his phone, by receiving phone calls in the night, by demonizing A's infidelity to all acquaintances. A breaks again, telling B to leave his home.
Some concessions are made on A's behalf-- the computer is waiting for a new buyer(heh heh lysol, huh?) and has since removed all profiles from online services that may be deemed a threat to his fidelity to B.
B begins being unreliable, he begins taking phone calls in private, begins not answering A's calls, screening calls in A's presence-- he tells people he is not with A within earshot of said person. He lies and tells one caller that he had to scrape change to buy his lunch when A has provided that lunch, has provided his ride to that lunch and his cigarettes for after that lunch.
A is suspicious at this point and makes a fake profile to see what A is really doing. He asks a friend B does not know to initiate contact with B and to gauge B's intentions. B hits on both people, giving them phone numbers, asking vital statistics and for images of said vital bits. B suggests they may have to use an automobile, as his place is not available.
When B is confronted with transcripts of aforementioned conversations, B becomes irate and accuses A of mental instability, insanity and basic scallawagidity. B lies about what was said when A has a full transcript. A accepts that B can not and will not internalize guilt for his actions and lets the relationship go.
There is no reason for this post beyond just typing. Pretend it's a journal and you've just cracked it open with a butterknife. If moderators wish to remove it-- they have my blessing. I have made an appointment with a counselor. It never occurred to me that masturbation was cheating, and that giving phone numbers to people you've made plans for intimacy with wasn't.
Throw out whatever you're thinking after reading this. The opinions of strangers are more important than my own-- as my views are obviously skewed and maybe even a bit twisted.
Have a blessed day.
This signature removed to protect the innocent.