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post #21 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 06:34 PM
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I can only explain my foul mouth away to an upbringing in a part of the country where you curse & cut down others as a survival mechanism. That's how these backwoods morons tested each other - they'd insult the living hell out of you and curse you up one side and down another, in as early as 5th grade. It teaches you a lot of useful skills, but it leaves a lot of pretty permanent scars.
For example?

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post #22 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 06:45 PM
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I agree with all of this except the wolf pup.

Can't we just fight and not ask why? That is the way the rest of the world works. Damn it!
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post #23 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 06:47 PM
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@ GS

How to think on your feet. How to read people / how to determine what someone's tolerance for having their chops busted is before they want to fight; ergo, the futility of fighting and argumentation. How to find someone's motivation and currency. How to let someone talk themselves into a position of weakness by shutting up and letting them hang themselves (one I forget on occasion, which leads into How to leave yourself a graceful retreat. And how to curse "properly", among others.
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post #24 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 06:48 PM
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They are turning Blue.
Anything round that goes underutilized and unappreciated for that long is bound to turn Blue.
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post #25 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 06:56 PM
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@ GS

How to think on your feet. How to read people / how to determine what someone's tolerance for having their chops busted is before they want to fight; ergo, the futility of fighting and argumentation. How to find someone's motivation and currency. How to let someone talk themselves into a position of weakness by shutting up and letting them hang themselves (one I forget on occasion, which leads into How to leave yourself a graceful retreat. And how to curse "properly", among others.
All from children cursing and carrying on? Those are fine lessons, but at such a young age the only lessons I recall involved fight or flight, and strength in numbers. The nuance came later, much later. I grew up in a big city, I'm sure it was very different on many levels...

"If spending money you don't have is the height of stupidity, borrowing money to give it away is the height of insanity." -- anon
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post #26 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 08:01 PM
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Until recently, I thought my childhood experience was completely the norm (no matter how shitty it was). Seeing how kids around my new home town grow up and interact with each other, and in talking to people from around the country about their youth, I now know that it was a singularly horrible place to be transplanted into at age 12.

And they weren't just "cursing and carrying on"...they were trying to eviscerate anyone who was new or different. When you're young you take that stuff kinda personally. It takes a long time to realize that the world isn't really like that. At least it took me a long time.

Anyway, I'm not a fighter, so I had to use my wits to stand up for myself without beating people up. Never been in a fight. I hate them. So in trying to avoid them while finding a way to express my frustration, the lessons began.

I firmly believe that every interaction with people is educational. The lessons you take from it depend on whether or not you care enough to pay attention. Some people think they know everything they ever need to know about dealing with others, what constitutes faux pas or "over the line", etc. If I ever get to that point, it will be when I can instantly read a person and accurately forecast & manipulate their responses to serve my own interests.

Finally, you don't realize what lessons you learned until you're older and look back on what incidents defined you. At the time, I was just trying to 'survive'. Looking back, I can see that the city I moved to in 5th grade and stayed in until roughly 11th grade was far more influential on most of my life than anything else, and only in a very few positive ways.

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post #27 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 08:07 PM
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Dayum, I couldn't begin to count how many fights I had been in by the time 5th grade rolled around. I actually got suspended for fighting in 1st grade -- lol. It wouldn't have been so bad, but I pulled the kid's shoe off and chucked it through a school window. Oops.

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post #28 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 08:07 PM
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Diff'rent strokes, I suppose.

So what lessons did fighting teach you? I know which ones I learned by observation, but I'm not sure what gets crystallized vis-a-vis participation.
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post #29 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 08:10 PM
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Finally, you don't realize what lessons you learned until you're older and look back on what incidents defined you. At the time, I was just trying to 'survive'. Looking back, I can see that the city I moved to in 5th grade and stayed in until roughly 11th grade was far more influential on most of my life than anything else, and only in a very few positive ways.
I know what you mean there. I can look back at several incidents during those years as life-changing on some level, pretty much all for the worse.

"If spending money you don't have is the height of stupidity, borrowing money to give it away is the height of insanity." -- anon
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post #30 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 08:17 PM
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Diff'rent strokes, I suppose.

So what lessons did fighting teach you? I know which ones I learned by observation, but I'm not sure what gets crystallized vis-a-vis participation.
Well, I learned how to fight. Not a bad thing to know growing up in a tough city. I learned that getting hit doesn't usually hurt much worse than hitting. I learned how to take a hit, and when not to take a hit. Ultimately, I became tough enough to not fight (and that is the real lesson), but that didn't happen until well into adulthood.

"If spending money you don't have is the height of stupidity, borrowing money to give it away is the height of insanity." -- anon
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