The world is full of gray. You originally said "If a kid comes up in a home that results in this type of behavior, then so be it. If I've failed as a parent to the degree that my son would get involved in this type of nonsense, that's on me. You make the assumption that YOU are the only influence on your child, or even the most important. You even assume that sexting by a teen suggests that you failed as a parent in some way. It does not.
Even as the best possible parent [and after talking with you for a couple of years I would be willing to bet you re VERY good at it], you still are only ONE of many environmental influences on your boy. That does not mean you failed, it means simply that at some point one other influence took prescience, however briefly.
So no matter how "connected" you are with a child, external environmental triggers are always present and are always challenging. That doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong, it just means that, unless you keep your kid locked in a basement 24/7 you are not the only influence.
And that is my entire point on this thing. Peer pressure and hormones and teens.
It's an indisputable fact that the most significant influence in a young person's life is their same sex parent. There's a colloquialism that goes something like "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" that captures this, but that phrase didn't come from years and years of studies. Don't take my word for it.
Anyway, to me, that's all the more that needs to be understood about measuring the effectiveness of a parent by way of their child's behavior.
We'll find out in about 3-4 years how right either of us are.
My parents would beat the shit out of me for 2 things:
1. If I didn't get excellent grades in school.
2. If I did something I was not suppose to do out of peer pressure.
Back in those days it was called "discipline" or a simple "spanking". i think today it would be "child abuse". I wonder how the previous generation turned out decent and why the new generation is absolutely rotten. Was is the spanking?