Lifetime Premium Member
Date registered: Aug 2002
Vehicle: And what was left was what was guilt was what u gave to me
Location: A cavalcade of strangers came to tear ur world apart
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Quoted: 1725 Post(s)
I received the badge of honor!
The running cb joke in California is, "I haven't been here in a while, are they still handing out roses to truckers at the weigh stations?".
That is to say they are formally trained in the art of the stink eye and will give you the red light if your antenna tips don't sparkle(out of towners only because CA has the most filthy, raggedy pieces of cab-over shit that I have ever seen).
They singled me out and had me pull into a massive 6 bay Quonset(sp) hut and let me tell you, this dude was the Felix Unger of truck inspectors, clean as a whistle and cool as can be. I spent the next 25 minutes watching him put coveralls over his clean clothes, and placing latex gloves over his hands. This was all done at a pace to intentionally annoy me I'm sure,
He then directed me to illuminate every possible light on the vehicle. When i passed that, he went to his little writing desk and scribed something. 30 minutes into this scrutiny, I assumed he was done.
It was at this time that he sauntered gingerly over to the corner and produced the dreaded Kreepy Krawler. The ruthless fuck-stick inspected every inch of the bottom of my truck all the while barking out muffled commands to depress a brake pedal or a clutch and I could not hear so he would pop out from different locations under the truck like a Gestapo sponsored Whack The Weasel game and reiterate his command.
I was left a shivering, defiled, blubbering mess.........It was at this time that he walked over to the right side of my cab, cleared off the bugs and assorted animal sinew and placed a "7" sticker on my windshield.
That sticker is essentially the key to the city, so to speak, and with it, you are unlikely to get singled out like the rest of the poor fucks.
Oh, the RATS! part. Some filthy motherless truck flung a rock at my windshield and it Will have to be replaced. If I cannot remove the sticker intact, I will commit suicide.It will be very gory and I'll probably take a few others with me. Just a heads up.
Don't fear this fella anymore. I can assure you with the utmost confidence he now works in Houston on the customs dock inspecting cargo and collector cars headed for Singapore et al. By the time this Forrest Gump was through with our seven mint, irreplaceable, choice, inscrutable, automobiles I had to break out the mega pixel digital camera and start mega snapping to convince our buyer that indeed we were not sending him crap. I mean the Gumpy Forrest fuck could have way laid a brand new Lexus rolling off the assembly line to the point where the buyer would have thought it would need a complete body off nut and bolt restoration.
On cue Singapore e mailed me all concerned and shit about the customs inspection report. I immediately emailed well over 50 high detail photographs of the cars as they sat with the Gump inspecting them. Even had the Gump smile for the camera in one. When the cars finally arrived he phoned me and said of the 100+ collector cars he had ever received these were in the best condition. Gumpy rain man didn't get one up on me but he sure tried whether wittingly or not. Geez.
Last edited by Shane; 02-26-2009 at 06:05 PM.