Guaranteed Weight Loss Program - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 01-25-2009, 03:52 PM Thread Starter
Boring Cars...meh!
 
Nutz 4 Benz's Avatar
 
Date registered: Aug 2005
Vehicle: 81 280E, 84 500SEC, 87 560, 89 "300E", 91 500SL, 15 E350 4Matic Estate, 71 BMW 2002, +others
Location: Hawai'i (Maui)
Posts: 15,985
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
Garage
(Thread Starter)
Guaranteed Weight Loss Program

Not sure if you've made a New Years resolution to lose weight and this program is not meant for every man, but most certainly one that might bring results. Not for the timid!

*The Guaranteed Weight Loss Program*

A guy calls a company and orders their Guaranteed 5-day/5 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the Guaranteed Weight Loss Company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens daily.

At the end of the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs., as promised.

He calls the company and orders their Guaranteed 5-day/10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the absolute most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life . She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the Guaranteed 7-day/25 pound weight loss program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years and I'm up for the challenge!!"

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads...,

"If I catch you, your ass is mine!"

He lost 42 pounds that week.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c328/nutz4benz/W123/6C3A9CA5-EDFF-4834-8125-34B70B20A676_zpsiyesrawz.jpg
Nutz 4 Benz is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 01-25-2009, 03:54 PM
~BANNED~
 
Date registered: Sep 2004
Vehicle: 2002 clk320
Location: Lancaster, Kentucky
Posts: 8,498
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz 4 Benz View Post
Not sure if you've made a New Years resolution to lose weight and this program is not meant for every man, but most certainly one that might bring results. Not for the timid!

*The Guaranteed Weight Loss Program*

A guy calls a company and orders their Guaranteed 5-day/5 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the Guaranteed Weight Loss Company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens daily.

At the end of the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs., as promised.

He calls the company and orders their Guaranteed 5-day/10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the absolute most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life . She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the Guaranteed 7-day/25 pound weight loss program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years and I'm up for the challenge!!"

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads...,

"If I catch you, your ass is mine!"

He lost 42 pounds that week.
Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
the clk man is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Mercedes-Benz Forum > General Mercedes-Benz Forums > Off-Topic

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Mercedes-Benz Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











  • Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
     
    Thread Tools
    Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
    Email this Page Email this Page
    Display Modes
    Linear Mode Linear Mode



    Similar Threads
    Topic Author Forum Replies Last Post
    Lifetime Guaranteed dluxemag W140 S-Class 7 08-24-2007 07:32 AM
    Benzworld weight loss tips FeelTheLove Off-Topic 56 04-03-2007 06:19 PM
    Official Trunk Weight Loss #s ..... omeyhomey W210 E50 AMG, E55 AMG 14 09-09-2006 01:00 AM
    Lease a Maybach for only $50,000, guaranteed! Sway Maybach 0 06-02-2004 04:25 PM
    Guaranteed MSRP on all M-B models MBrandy W163 M-Class 0 12-13-2002 07:57 AM

    Posting Rules  
    You may post new threads
    You may post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are On
    Pingbacks are On
    Refbacks are On

     

    Title goes here

    close
    video goes here
    description goes here. Read Full Story
    For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome