Date registered: Aug 2005
Vehicle: 81 280E, 84 500SEC, 87 560, 89 "300E", 91 500SL, 15 E350 4Matic Estate, 71 BMW 2002, +others
Location: Hawai'i (Maui)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 18 Post(s)
Return Letters from Santa
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for
my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
your frigid Mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give
up that dream. Let me get you some nice LEGOs instead.
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
for your reindeer outside the back door.
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me
a bottle of scotch.
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
First, stop calling yourself Marky, that's why you're getting
your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house,
you live in a low-rent project. Third, I get inside your pad just
like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?