HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs.

Rinse off.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 03:45 PM Thread Starter
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 04:01 PM
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seeing as it's my weiner and I helped pay for the soap, does it REALLY matter how fast I wash it?
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 04:14 PM
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For me it's more like grab shampoo and conditioner (hidden so daughter doesn't use it all). Run hot tub of water, wash and condition all parts of body, shave if needed. Grab towel dry off and run back to bedroom and crawl in bed. Let the hubby and kids clean up the left over clothes, I don't do laundry they can take care of that. I cook, grocery shop and work so they can clean and do laundry.

I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 04:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jody
For me it's more like grab shampoo and conditioner... Run hot tub of water, wash and condition all parts of body...

Pics or GTFO.......
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 04:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by isthisdave View Post
Pics or GTFO.......
They are already on there you just meed to look. I know you will find them.

I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 05:35 PM
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How to shower like a REAL man

Don't!
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 05:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teutone View Post
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.
Your slippin old man this is a

Last edited by the clk man; 12-10-2008 at 09:32 AM.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 05:42 PM
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Do you shower like a woman CLK? I do like it when you smell nice
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 05:51 PM
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Thats it I'm gone.
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