Ok, I've just had a crisis inducing month and I just have to vent:
Yesterday I found out that one of my married friends is having a baby. This just makes me sort of sad because although I'm happy for her . . . the friendship is going to drastically change now. I am going to be visiting her in a month and already the nights of drinking and dancing will have to change to lunch and dinners. I just feel like I'm 5 years old compared to her life.
Then today I got an e-mail from a friend who not only recently got a promotion----he got engaged. I've been with my boyfriend twice as long as he's been in his relationship and while I realize it's not really a race---I've wanted marriage for the past YEAR and it's just not happening because of layoffs and income situations. It's not FAIR (as childish as that sounds).
So, I'm writing this all down while wearing a pair of consignment capri pants that are two years old and a white shirt that is 5 years old. I am TIRED of buying used clothes because that's all I can afford. I'm TIRED of driving around in my car without air conditioning in Texas. I'm TIRED of attending engagement parties for friends that have only been with their boyfriends for a total of a year when I've been with mine for 3 years. I'm TIRED of being pleased when friends are getting promotions while I'm a secretary. I'm TIRED of feeling like I'm stuck at the starting line while everyone else is off and running.
I guess I'm OK most days in my crisis when I can trick myself into believing that everyone my age is going through crap and when I hear that they aren't all poor and lovelorn and dissatisfied---I get furious and jealous and I turn into a monster. I know that the "grass is always greener" and just because someone has the job that pays 60,000 a year or the diamond engagement ring or the baby on the way and the house and the new car . . . it doesn't mean that they are happy but God Dammit. It's not FAIR!
Ok, that's my crisis. I'm going to go to the mall and throw pretzels at people in BCBG. It may be petty but it makes me feel better.
I'm wearing used pants! - QLC Message Boards