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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 04:01 AM Thread Starter
slightly creased
 
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Groan...

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and
places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up
and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about
one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back
into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.
He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.

The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a
beautiful piece by Mozart!
'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.
This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says:
'Here. Rub it.'

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him.
'I will grant you one wish. Just one wish~~ each person is only allowed one!'

The bartender gets real excited.
Without hesitating he says, 'I want a million bucks!'
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar.
It is soon followed by another duck, then another.
Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks
and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think
your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks,
not a million ducks.'

'Tell me about it!!' says the man,
'do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?

Ross

OzBenz

beware of fundamentalists

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 07:38 AM
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Garage
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 07:46 AM
Will Moderate For Cigars
 
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3 College age boys decided to go to the beach and have fun. So, two of them worked up a huge erection and got their buddy to bury them in sand, except for their dicks, sticking straight out. It was no more than a few minutes later, that an elderly lady and her daughter walked by. The elderly lady stopped, looked at the huge cocks sticking up out of the sand and said:
When I was a teenager, I wanted to see what one looked and felt like.
When I was in my twenties, I couldn't get enough of them.
When I was in my thirties, children got in the way of them.
When I was in my forties, your father wasn't much interested.
When I was in my fifties and sixties, I almost forgot what it was like to have one rammed in my chute.
Now that I'm in my late seventies and too damned old to stoop, they're growing wild.

2005 S430 4Matic 'Morton' W220.183 • 722.671 Rest in Peace

Bells and whistles are thorns and thistles.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 01:51 PM
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?A koala is sitting up a gum tree?... smoking a joint

?


Name:  k1.bmp
Views: 60
Size:  199.7 KB





?

?when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says,

Name:  k2.bmp
Views: 62
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?



?

?"Hey Koala !?What are you doing?"?

?

Name:  k4a.bmp
Views: 64
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The koala says:

"Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and

they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his

mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But

the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and

falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and

helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard:

"What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned

and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into

the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting

finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"




So the koala looks down at him and says:

Name:  k3a1.bmp
Views: 52
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???
"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude ... how much water did you drink?!!"
?

?

I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 02:09 PM
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These where funny






3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
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