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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-26-2008, 09:41 AM Thread Starter
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Only In America

in America drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the

in America people
order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

in America banks
leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the

Only in America we leave cars worth thousands
of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the

Only in America we buy hot
dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

in America they
have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


the sun lightens our hair, but darkens

women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with
real lemons?

is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush

isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

do they sterilize the needle for lethal

know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they
make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

don't sheep shrink when it rains?

are they called apartments when they are all stuck

con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of

flying is so safe, why
do they call the airport the terminal?

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-26-2008, 07:46 PM
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Wow that is deep.

"Fat, Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life."
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-26-2008, 09:39 PM
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I just want to know why, when the folks at Roget were making the second Thesaurus they didn't come up with a better name. Afterall, we have to assume they did have a thesaurus nearby.


Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-26-2008, 10:31 PM
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but Andy rooney...
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-27-2008, 01:17 AM
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-27-2008, 04:41 AM
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Why is it a "Hot water heater" shouldn't it be a "Cold water heater"?

TV set there is only one, why is it a set?

Gynecologist should be a Gal-necologist

Hystirectomy should be a Her-tirectomy

Cowboy? cow is female... should be Bullboy
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