I had some spicy food yesterday, but not enough to warrant the classification of the 'Mexican' just yet coming out from the other end.
However, I did feel some mild heat and substantial weight bearing from the inside of my back door - it had all the signs of a making of most wonderful defecating experience - so I picked up a copy of today's paper and briskly walked to the bathroom and settled down.
In reality, it was the worst:
the product was long, thin, pasty thing not to mention the foul aroma
it seemed that the spincter did not relax all the way so it basically 'shaved' and retained what did not get squeezed out of the cavity
because of the two factors above, my hole was burning not to mention that I felt I still had more to go but couldn't push anything out; and the pasty consistency meant I could go through an entire roll and still get stuff on the TP.
An experience like this can ruin anyone's day.