Date registered: Oct 2005
Vehicle: 107, 115, 116, 123, 124, 126
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
It's a complete lack of common sense in anything related to customer service. Had a nice chat with the fine folks at Verizon yesterday to unhook their terrible DSL line. I've been on the phone with the techies in Bangalore many times and for hours at a time.
Same infuriating conversation. First, type in your phone number. Then wait for a techie, who always asks you your phone number first thing. So why'd I have to type it in? Verify your name and address. "And wit whoom am I speaking?"
Then the usual drivel about rebooting the modem, rebooting the computer, how many phone lines do you have, do you have a fax, do you have an answering machine, do you have an alarm system, are the filters plugged in, they just can't deviate from the damn script.
And the conversation is always peppered with "Ve are Veddy Soddy that you are havink dees problem. Please bear wid me, the line may go silent for a bit." Yeah, while he goes out for a sandwich or whatever the hell they eat over there.
I got to the point where I'd just pre-empt the whole thing and say "Listen up Patel, I know your name is NOT Mark (or Bob or Joe). Here's the deal, I have one phone line, nothing else plugged into it, I am direct into the modem with a short DSL cable, and I have a short phone cable into the wall. The internet light is NOT on. Ping the fucking line and tell me what you get."
So yesterday I called to cancel.
Them: And are you canceling because you're moving, or because of technical issues?
Me: Technical issues (stupid me.)
Them: Well, let's get a Level 3 tech on the line and we'll solve your problems.
Me: No, been there done that. I've been on the fucking phone with every level of support you have and YOU CAN"T FIX IT to the point I don't have to call two weeks later.
Them: Well we'd like to try.
Me: You have tried, you can't do it. I want it out of here.
This goes on for a while, then they drop the hammer: There will be a $99 cancellation charge because you are in the middle of your contract and you're breaking it.
This is what I've been waiting for. Me: YOU broke the contract. I've upheld my end of the bargain and paid every month. YOU"VE broken the contract because YOU AREN'T GIVING ME WHAT I AM PAYING FOR! I pay money, your supposed to give me a working reliable DSL. And you've wasted hours of my time.
Them: We reserve the right to try to fix it.
Me: You have tried, countless times.
Them: Our records show you've only called three other times.
Me: You records are wrong. Besides, you ever see a baseball game? THREE STRIKES AND YOUR OUT, HONEY. AND YOU ARE OUT.
Them: We will be charging you $99 if you cancel now.
Me: And I will take you to court and make you regret you ever tried to charge me. The judge will laugh you out of the courtroom.
Them: Well then we process your cancellation. It will take about 5 minutes.
Me: Five minutes to cancel?? What the hell are you doing for five minutes? Just unplug the damn thing. You turn it off if the bill is 2 minutes late. Get the guy that does that!
Them: Please hold.
Them three minutes later: We have processed your cancellation. Your service will no longer be available.
And then the kicker. Them: My job is to make sure your customer service experience is helpful and courteous. Have I met your expectations in this regard?"
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???