The Presidential Debate Drinking Game
Every time John McCain mentions his POW experience, praise his courage and drink a kamikaze. This one is only for the heavy drinkers.
Every time Obama says change everyone has to switch seats and drink the other person's drink of choice.
Every time John McCain tries to associate Barack Obama with an unsavory character, take a sip of your dirty martini.
Every time someone says bailout you have to finish your drink and pour another.
Every time John McCain says "my friends", spit out your drink and shout "I am not your friend" at the television.
Every time "evil", "evil doers", or anything with evil is mentioned, drink a sip of French red wine.
Every time John McCain threatens Iran, drink a savage car bomb or cherry bomb.
Every time Barack Obama ties John McCain to George W. Bush, drink a sloe gin fizz and wish for better days.
Every time John McCain displays how hopelessly out of touch he is, drink an old bastard.
Every time John McCain refers to the USSR or any other non-existent formerly communist country, get ready to ride the red tide.
When Georgia is mentioned, drink a fuzzy navel.
Every time John McCain mentions Sarah Palin, drink a white russian. After all, if Sarah Palin is around there must be a Russian nearby somewhere.
Every time John McCain smiles creepily, drink a roofie-colada.
If anyone mentions a golden parachute, pound some goldschlager.
Every time John McCain makes an appeal to states rights, lean back and take a sip of that sweet southern comfort.
When NATO membership is mentioned, clink glasses with everyone around you and attack anyone who refuses to clink.
If John McCain doesn't show up, lock yourself inside and sip Jack Daniels all night. It is going to be a long six weeks.
Regardless of what either candidate says, at the end of the debate, drink something that must be lit on fire first then hit yourself in the face with a shovel.
Josh Nelson: The Presidential Debate Drinking Game