Guys, if you think the driving in America is bad then try driving in China. Rules for driving in china;
1. What rules?
Precautions before setting off.
1. Carry a leathel weapon or at least a stun gun.
2. Wear body armour.
3. Have car fitted with cross straps, role bar and air horn.
4. Wear a crash helmet at all times (not for the risck of accident) but to protect from steel bar other drivers will try to kill you will.
5..When changing lanes do NOT indicate, its more fun that way.
6. Kill at least one pedestrian on each trip (you may mount the pavement to achieve this) its ok there are too many people anyway.
7. When a pig and a chicken are crossing the road go for the pig first.
8. When traffic lights are stuck on red then open the boot before driving through as the camera cannot see your licence plate that way.
9. When you want to change direction and go the opposite way but there is a concrete central reservation, drive through the pedestrian underground and get as many of the buggers as you can, have fun.
10 Ensure reverse gear is working in case you pass the exit you need on the expressway.
11 Do not be considerate to other drivers, this is totally un acceptable behaviour and shows weakness.
12 When approaching traffic lights and you want to turn left dont us the left hand lane, use the middle lane so when the left turn light goes to red you can stop and annoy all the nice people behind you who whish to go straight on with their green light thus forcing them to pull into the slow lane and cause a complete traffic jam
13 Show total disregard for pedestrian crossings the green man for them to cross the road does not concern you as you are in a car.
14 Always carry a jerrycan of fuel in the boot, this is to set fire to trucks in car parks. They are a total annoyance anyway.
15 If you get a flat tyre whilst in the fast lane, dont bother with the hard shoulder simply stop and change it.
16 When parking the car get as close to the drivers door of the car next to you, that really pisses em off.
17 When the brakes fail on your SBC system slam the park brake on and ram the tranny in P, maximum damage
But no brake lights so the guy that rams into you back end can be held responsible
18 When on the expressway and doing 200km per hour, if you see a taxi (usually a VW) pass as close to the taxi as possible, it normally sends em into a spin (fun to watch in your rear view mirror).
19 Have your car fitted with a police wail siren, that normally gets the buggers out of your way.
20 If you come accross a lake of water as high as your windshield then drive into it, saves money for a car wash
21 And finally, if your horn does not work - DONT DRIVE