I was going to, but I did not think it was necessary. Lets fire off a top ten list of things you cannot do at my house.
1.Showing up with a 16 year old boy, drunk, whom you intend to have sex with later, or already have.
2. Anything having to do with the illegal trafficking of narcotics across state lines, or smoking dope in my backyard.(go for a drive and come back if you want)
3.As a former drunk who drove hammered pretty much everyday and thank God every day for not killing someone. I strongly urge you to be a responsible driver when you drink. If you show up and have 10 rum and cokes in 1.5 hours and jump in the Benz for the drive up to Elkhart or on the way home a police officer will be detaining you. (sorry) I am not an absolute sobriety person, I know that you can drink and have a good time and be responsible and still drive.
4.Piss in my front yard. That is why we have a back yard
5.Poop in my front yard. That is why we have neighbors.
6.molest my children or Dog, (my wife may entertain some propositions)
7.Language that would embarrass a sailor in front of his mother. I say fuck and shit and all that as well, but lets not teach it to the 2 year old.
8. Steal anything from me or my neighbors.
9.Don't be an asshole, I enjoy a good ribbing as much as the next guy but when that line is reached, don't cross it. Quite often it is that last jab that turns a funny debate into a fight. Fighting is not aloud. Not to mention the German Sheppard will attack the aggressor. (He will grab your arm until you stop, it more than likely will not break the skin, but it will leave a nasty bruise)A few drunk friends giving head locks discovered that,
10. Anyone in attendance will be forced to have a good time. no moping aloud. I have a carpeted garage with 2 TVs and cable, we have a nice yard with a covered seating area,fire pit,putting green, driving net,grilling area, swings,play set, pool table and full bar in the basement and 13 TVs in the house. there is a hot tub if your sore from the road and we can put the kiddie pool up or run threw the sprinkler if your hot. If you cannot have fun here it cannot be had.