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post #1 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 01:47 PM Thread Starter
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Dear Diary...

I recently purchased an autographed Mark Cuban cigar. I tried to give it to my friend but she ain' having none of it. She was too busy with the stuffed toy she got from her old boy friend, Mick. Bear shaped toys don't do anything for me but she thought it was cute. I figured it was over so I went to get my hair cut. See, she liked it long and curly and I was sick of it. She found out and came screaming after me while I was at the barber. "Haul 'er ass on outta here son", he yelled at me. I grabbed her wrist so hard I thought I would bruise 'er and we left. I was experiencing emotions that I didn't want to feel. The love we had was gone and so was I.

It was time to tone it down a bit. I hopped in the CLK. Man, was I pissed. My eye caught the little sticker in the windshield and I realized I forgot to lube it. I stopped by Jiffy Lube and signed the waiting list at the bottom. Line 1 went almost around the block, dude! Line 2 was shorter but those people were getting full service. To kill the time, I wandered out of the shop. I saw some chrome junky looking stuff in the ditch in the back of the place. I wanted to get a better look so I clambered down into the arroyo. Semen filled condoms stuck to my shoes and I got grossed out. I gave up and went back in the shop. When I found out it would be another 3 hours I said, "Shit guys, I can't wait" and I left.

I ended up back in the old neighborhood. I wanted to look up my best friend from back in the day. I thought if I could see Mitch, he'd get my head straightened out. I was wrong. All he wanted to talk about was going to L.A. to make it in the movies. "I can be like the Lone Ranger, man! Star in one flick after another!" What an idiot. I turned away, lit a Lucky, drew a puff, stubbed it out and walked off. I thought I had friends but in 'is day and age, I think we're more alone than ever. There's only one thing I ever wanted free, man. I'll keep looking.

Well, that's all for now. Maybe more later.

I counted 18.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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post #2 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 02:03 PM
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VERY well done!
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post #3 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 02:14 PM
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18??? There goes my afternoon . . .

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post #4 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 02:35 PM
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Yose, sey man you forgot one of the best.
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post #5 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 02:47 PM
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that was pretty good



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post #6 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 04:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Digmenow View Post
I recently purchased an autographed Mark Cuban cigar. I tried to give it to my friend but she ain' having none of it. She was too busy with the stuffed toy she got from her old boy friend, Mick. Bear shaped toys don't do anything for me but she thought it was cute. I figured it was over so I went to get my hair cut. See, she liked it long and curly and I was sick of it. She found out and came screaming after me while I was at the barber. "Haul 'er ass on outta here son", he yelled at me. I grabbed her wrist so hard I thought I would bruise 'er and we left. I was experiencing emotions that I didn't want to feel. The love we had was gone and so was I.

It was time to tone it down a bit. I hopped in the CLK. Man, was I pissed. My eye caught the little sticker in the windshield and I realized I forgot to lube it. I stopped by Jiffy Lube and signed the waiting list at the bottom. Line 1 went almost around the block, dude! Line 2 was shorter but those people were getting full service. To kill the time, I wandered out of the shop. I saw some chrome junky looking stuff in the ditch in the back of the place. I wanted to get a better look so I clambered down into the arroyo. Semen filled condoms stuck to my shoes and I got grossed out. I gave up and went back in the shop. When I found out it would be another 3 hours I said, "Shit guys, I can't wait" and I left.

I ended up back in the old neighborhood. I wanted to look up my best friend from back in the day. I thought if I could see Mitch, he'd get my head straightened out. I was wrong. All he wanted to talk about was going to L.A. to make it in the movies. "I can be like the Lone Ranger, man! Star in one flick after another!" What an idiot. I turned away, lit a Lucky, drew a puff, stubbed it out and walked off. I thought I had friends but in 'is day and age, I think we're more alone than ever. There's only one thing I ever wanted free, man. I'll keep looking.

Well, that's all for now. Maybe more later.

I counted 18.
is it dave reference and GS ?
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post #7 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Digmenow View Post
I recently purchased an autographed Mark Cuban cigar. I tried to give it to my friend but she ain' having none of it. She was too busy with the stuffed toy she got from her old boy friend, Mick. Bear shaped toys don't do anything for me but she thought it was cute. I figured it was over so I went to get my hair cut. See, she liked it long and curly and I was sick of it. She found out and came screaming after me while I was at the barber. "Haul 'er ass on outta here son", he yelled at me. I grabbed her wrist so hard I thought I would bruise 'er and we left. I was experiencing emotions that I didn't want to feel. The love we had was gone and so was I.

It was time to tone it down a bit. I hopped in the CLK. Man, was I pissed. My eye caught the little sticker in the windshield and I realized I forgot to lube it. I stopped by Jiffy Lube and signed the waiting list at the bottom. Line 1 went almost around the block, dude! Line 2 was shorter but those people were getting full service. To kill the time, I wandered out of the shop. I saw some chrome junky looking stuff in the ditch in the back of the place. I wanted to get a better look so I clambered down into the arroyo. Semen filled condoms stuck to my shoes and I got grossed out. I gave up and went back in the shop. When I found out it would be another 3 hours I said, "Shit guys, I can't wait" and I left.

I ended up back in the old neighborhood. I wanted to look up my best friend from back in the day. I thought if I could see Mitch, he'd get my head straightened out. I was wrong. All he wanted to talk about was going to L.A. to make it in the movies. "I can be like the Lone Ranger, man! Star in one flick after another!" What an idiot. I turned away, lit a Lucky, drew a puff, stubbed it out and walked off. I thought I had friends but in 'is day and age, I think we're more alone than ever. There's only one thing I ever wanted free, man. I'll keep looking.

Well, that's all for now. Maybe more later.

I counted 18.
That 18?

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post #8 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 04:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yoseyman View Post
is it dave reference and GS ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Digmenow View Post
I recently purchased an autographed Mark Cuban cigar. I tried to give it to my friend but she ain' having none of it. She was too busy with the stuffed toy she got from her old boy friend, Mick. Bear shaped toys don't do anything for me but she thought it was cute. I figured it was over so I went to get my hair cut. See, she liked it long and curly and I was sick of it. She found out and came screaming after me while I was at the barber. "Haul 'er ass on outta here son", he yelled at me. I grabbed her wrist so hard I thought I would bruise 'er and we left. I was experiencing emotions that I didn't want to feel. The love we had was gone and so was I.

It was time to tone it down a bit. I hopped in the CLK. Man, was I pissed. My eye caught the little sticker in the windshield and I realized I forgot to lube it. I stopped by Jiffy Lube and signed the waiting list at the bottom. Line 1 went almost around the block, dude! Line 2 was shorter but those people were getting full service. To kill the time, I wandered out of the shop. I saw some chrome junky looking stuff in the ditch in the back of the place. I wanted to get a better look so I clambered down into the arroyo. Semen filled condoms stuck to my shoes and I got grossed out. I gave up and went back in the shop. When I found out it would be another 3 hours I said, "Shit guys, I can't wait" and I left.

I ended up back in the old neighborhood. I wanted to look up my best friend from back in the day. I thought if I could see Mitch, he'd get my head straightened out. I was wrong. All he wanted to talk about was going to L.A. to make it in the movies. "I can be like the Lone Ranger, man! Star in one flick after another!" What an idiot. I turned away, lit a Lucky, drew a puff, stubbed it out and walked off. I thought I had friends but in 'is day and age, I think we're more alone than ever. There's only one thing I ever wanted free, man. I'll keep looking.

Well, that's all for now. Maybe more later.

I counted 18.
Erm, you missed one (OK, more than one...)

"If spending money you don't have is the height of stupidity, borrowing money to give it away is the height of insanity." -- anon
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post #9 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 04:39 PM
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kick ass



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post #10 of 48 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 04:41 PM
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Nice work, dig, whether my 18 are the 18 or not.

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