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post #11 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 02:29 PM
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Heh, heh....tell them you have converted to Islam. heh, heh......
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post #12 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 02:37 PM
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A few Court secrets.

Written medical excuses from Physicians carry great weight, but mere chronic back pain complaints do not (The Court can delcare Court recesses for sworn jurors with that to stand and stretch or sit in different chairs....)

If you have a criminal record, you can get excused.

The jury pools get their names from DMV and voter records, typically.

So, if you do NOT register to vote, theoretically your likelihood of being called for jury duty maybe just went down by 50% right there

Stated religious beliefs may or may not work to escape jury duty on that case.

The "I do not speak English" excuse is OFTEN tried, with varying success.

Often times, especially on bogus or questionable excuses, the Judge will get exasperated and simply excuse the person from jury on THAT case, and send the prospective juror back to the jury assembly room, to wait for the NEXT CASE.

It is a big problem and the Courts are constantly engaging it.

One recent change in some counties is the "ONE DAY - ONE CASE rule".

You are put on call to be in Court for one day, no excuses; but if you are not called into a Court, that one day, your jury duty obligation ends.

^^^For one year.

A lot of time panels of jurors get called into Court, only to be dismissed en masse once they are seated.

That is because the jurors are being used as a LEVER to effect a settlement.

The Judges ALL love to make "Deals", because the Court calendars and dockets get cleared if they do, and they can go and play golf.

Court statisticians monitor closely the numbers of cases that settle before and during trial.

Any case that goes to trial, be it criminal or civil, is long and costly and uses the Court's resources: Bailiffs, Court reporters, Court clerks, translators etc.
(all of whom have to be paid)

All cases come with TREMENDOUS pressure by the Court system and Judges to settle before trial. Every one of them has mandatory settlement conferences. Sometimes, several of them.

Simply put: If EVERY case went to Courtroom trial, the system would utterly gridlock.

In less than a week. EVERYWHERE.

So juries are used to coerce settlements, though you won't find that said anywhere in any Juror orientation handbook.

Jim
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post #13 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 02:43 PM
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Failure to appear on a Jury Summons or a properly served witness subpoena, is a serious offense, against the Court itself, and is considered contempt of Court.

To address these, the Court has the power to have a bailiff arrest and handcuff you and bring you in to the Court to answer those charges.

It also has powers of fines and custodial time to punish offenders for those kinds of things; and while seldom used, definately can be.

Jim
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post #14 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by drewprof View Post
I have been invited for Jury Duty next week. I guess it's the selection phase but I got a shit load of work and cars that need some tending. If it's for one day, on that same day, then I am game but if they are going to select me to stay on for days or even weeks then I am going to be mad. Anyone has advise to help me through this?
This is a joke right ?

Just show them one of your pics.
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post #15 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 02:53 PM
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Yeah, I could pull a Bruce R on them like not answer shit and pretend to know everything, yep, great idea...oh and accuse them of whatever shit so they can see my pathetic attempt at sounding smart, yep a Bruce R textbook move allright.
Oh, and let's not forget pretending to know people higher up that can do things an shit like that... Maybe even tell the judge if I don't like him, I will call my buddies on him, yes sir, that's brilliant
Hey smartass, I served my stint on jury duty, it's a civic responsibility, but then again who would expect anything other than YOU trying to get out of it.... it certainly figures.

You can always tell them the truth, that you are a pathological liar, that should get you off easy enough.

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post #16 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 02:58 PM Thread Starter
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This is a joke right ?

Just show them one of your pics.
LOL, why pics since I will be there in person
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post #17 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 02:59 PM
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I actually enjoyed jury duty, met several friends on a fairly long case [9 days]. Just take a book to read during the culling process and you should be fine.

OR, say that you would be a great juror because you can tell guilt by the look in their eyes and that you really want to serve.

McBear,
Kentucky

Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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post #18 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 03:00 PM Thread Starter
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Hey smartass, I served my stint on jury duty, it's a civic responsibility, but then again who would expect anything other than YOU trying to get out of it.... it certainly figures.

You can always tell them the truth, that you are a pathological liar, that should get you off easy enough.
Cool, I will tell them that my name is Bruce R and I have no allegiance to the United States of America and that I have requested the Israeli embassy to grant me citizenship. You know like cut to the chase
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post #19 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 03:01 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by mcbear View Post
I actually enjoyed jury duty, met several friends on a fairly long case [9 days]. Just take a book to read during the culling process and you should be fine.

OR, say that you would be a great juror because you can tell guilt by the look in their eyes and that you really want to serve.
Actually I can, I have Bruce R powers
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post #20 of 54 (permalink) Old 04-23-2008, 03:14 PM
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Cool, I will tell them that my name is Bruce R and I have no allegiance to the United States of America and that I have requested the Israeli embassy to grant me citizenship. You know like cut to the chase
Or you could tell them that you are a cowardly SOB that hasn't served his country in any way shape or form, and that you are not about to start in that judges courtroom.

I know the truth is hard for you to speak, but sometimes it gets you out of things you don't want to do.

"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon, the pigeon knocks over all the pieces, on the board and then struts around like it won the game."
Vladimir Putin

"They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here?"
Paul Harvey 8/31/94


"The only people who have quick answers don't have the responsibility of making the decisions."
Justice Clarence Thomas
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