Note the numbers on the odometer for mileage. Hmmmm.
The ULTIMATE Clinton Politcal Machine - eBay (item 200203961807 end time Mar-06-08 09:13:46 PST)
The ALGORE Not Too Bright Screw Loose Eco-Friendly Headlight. (Has a screw or two loose but still manages to give off an earth friendly dull glow. Runs on Clean Electricity! (produced by burning fossil fuels in an unregulated internal combustion CO2 producing 2 cycle engine!)
The Kennedy Compound Fuel Cell. This baby will hold up to one gallon of Ethanol and oil, just like Ted Kennedy! (should not be driven over bridges with running water underneath or traffic barriers in the District of Columbia.)
LEFT ONLY Turn Signal. At some point in the life of this fantastic machine, all means of signaling right were surgically removed. The only way you can signal a turn is To The LEFT!
LEFT TURN ONLY Steering Lockout. Honest, you can’t make this stuff up. This has a steering lock that allows the moped to turn only to the LEFT. The key has been broken off but a replacement will be provided to the new owner!
Broken Right Hand Brake Lever. Just let those damn Republicans try to stop us! (probably not safe to ride without replacing this piece. Will no doubt require a change of administrations and majority in both the House and Senate to get it fixed right.)
Norman Hsu 20 Million Dollar Foot Pedals. These pedals do not match, just like the funds donated to the Clinton campaign by poor Chinese dishwashers and laundry owners. (you may be asked by the Main Stream Media to Return these pedals to the poor Chinese who donated them, but don’t worry, they don’t really expect you to!)
Paul Wellstone “Nothing Can Stop Us Now” Brakes. These brakes are attached to the Norman Hsu 20 Million Dollar Foot Pedals. (once again, probably not safe to drive even WITH these as Democrats can’t seem to stop much of anything, like taxes, wars, spending, poverty, the list goes on…)
Congressional Fuel Shutoff. Not much to be said here. This baby leaks like a Sieve! Its got more leaks than the Watergate Commission that Hillary was a part of!
Congressional “Do Nothing” Speedometer. Ok, lets face it, this speedometer is broken. Just like the First ONE HUNDRED DAYS of the current congress under Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, this thing spins around, makes a lot of noise and goes absolutely NOWHERE!
Ride Your Husbands Coat Tails to the White House Jump Seat. Pretty much says it all. This seat has a crack in it and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Slick Willy. Not really sure what this is, but it shows up on moving parts close to election time. Its Dirty, but nothing seems to stick to it! (other than more Dirt!) Indictments, Reprimands and Charges of Misconduct all just seem to slide off this stuff!
Sandy (Berger) Burglar Saddle Bags. Yes, they do look like underwear, but they are really document recovery devices used to smuggle classified information out of high level government installations. Not high tech, but highly effective!
White Water Water Bottle. You never can tell what may turn up in this thing after two years of looking. Could be Law Firm Documents, could be…nothing! Has the Pure Taste of “I Don’t Recall…”
Run Obama Run! License Plate. Mounted on the FRONT of the machine, this pretty much says it all!
Go Hillary Go! License Plate. Mounted on the REAR of the machine, no comment necessary.
Democratic Box Lunch Clinton Chicken Dinner Special. This Chicken Dinner contains two Large Thighs, Two Small Breasts and Two Left Wings! (Unfortunately, Bill got there first, so the box is empty!)
Jimmy Carter Front Tire and Wheel. This baby holds lots of Hot Air but eventually goes as Flat as the Carter Administrations Economic Policy. No matter what you do to this Tire, it CANNOT BE FIXED without Reaganomics Quick Fix Patches! (not included with this machine, you actually have to fix it yourself if you want it done! The Govt. will not do it for you or pay you to sit on your backside while someone else does it for you!)
The DON’T LOOK BACK Rose Colored Rear View Mirror. This mirror gives a Rose Colored View of what’s behind you! White Water, Vince Foster, Norman Hsu, Tyson, Cattlegate, the Rose Law Firm Documents, Monica Lewinski…..its as if it Never Happened when looking through the Rose Colored Glass of this Mirror! ADDED BONUS!!! You can’t see what’s sneaking up Behind You, like young upstart Congressmen Running for the Oval Office that YOU DESERVE!
Paint and Finish. This moped comes in Democratic Blue State Blue or the ever Popular Lewinski Blue Dress Blue! There are some Stains, but I am sure with a little elbow grease and maybe some spit and polish they will come out!
THE LORD CLINTON CIGAR BOX HUMIDOR.
Not to be Found on Any Other Machine of This Type! This is an Actual LORD CLINTON CIGAR BOX mounted firmly to the handle bars of the Clinton Political Machine. Open the box and you will find the motto “Hole in the Head, Ready to Light”! Last seen under a desk in the White House, this rare cigar box just recently Came to Light.
This Clinton Moped ran in 1978, 1980, 1984, 1988, 1992, 1996, 2000, 2004 and is running Today in 2008! It is Dirty, has been in more Wrecks than I can count but is still running (maybe not as strong as it did back in its college days!) but who’s counting.
The Fine Print
This moped was purchased at the Junk Jaunt in Nebraska. It is a 1978 model and runs well. It has been wrecked a time or two by the looks of it! I would not consider it safe for the road until repairs have been made on the front brake lever, turn signals and headlight. According to the shop manual (which will be included with the moped) it gets over 100 miles to the gallon. I haven’t put gas in it for over two years and it is still running strong on that first tank!