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post #31 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-13-2008, 02:45 AM Thread Starter
slightly creased
 
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Graduation from puppy school...

And, 'I love my bro...'
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post #32 of 45 (permalink) Old 04-13-2008, 05:13 AM
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It's always a pleasure to see "Jasper Brown" in the list of thread titles. Now get busy with YouTube.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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post #33 of 45 (permalink) Old 05-08-2008, 11:00 PM Thread Starter
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I'm turning into a dog...
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post #34 of 45 (permalink) Old 05-09-2008, 01:30 AM
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A couple of weeks ago I was tinkering in the garage when I heard my wife screaming and generally freaking out on a grand scale. I ran into the house to see my poor little Maxi-Pad in a fit of convulsion. At a year and a half he still acts like a puppy and is constantly stealing our socks and taunting us to chase him. Everything goes in the mouth so my wife assumed he ate poison but it looked like an epileptic seizure to me and sure enough, within a couple of minutes he was fine albeit a bit disoriented. They ran a million tests at about a $1.75 per test and it looks like epilepsy. Well we are now giving him Phenobarbitol and I'm sure he'll be fine but how do I ask a dog if I can have some of his downers?

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post #35 of 45 (permalink) Old 05-09-2008, 02:03 AM Thread Starter
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^^^

That sucks, hope the lil tacker is OK...

You won't be able to take her swimming any more.

Ross

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post #36 of 45 (permalink) Old 05-09-2008, 02:17 AM
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Originally Posted by 420 SE View Post
^^^

That sucks, hope the lil tacker is OK...

You won't be able to take her swimming any more.
Neigh! If he could cut the water with the energy it took to shake about, I think he would break most records for "Swimming all weird, and shit" if there is such a category.

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post #37 of 45 (permalink) Old 05-09-2008, 05:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThrillKill View Post
... how do I ask a dog if I can have some of his downers?
How to Purchase Street Pharmaceuticals from a Dog

Steps

1. Get the animal's attention: Usually, making a soft clicking noise with your tongue, or by talking to it quietly will be effective. It is imperative that you do not startle the creature. Speak LoLCat only and avoid Ebonics at all costs if your arse is whiter than a catfish belly.

2. Approach the animal VERY slowly. Do what you can to appear as small as possible and hopefully less intimidating, but remember to stay attentive. Do not get down on your hands and knees, it will make it harder for you to get away if the animal decides to attack. Only come within 10-15 feet of the animal. Negotiate through the bodyguard if one is present.

3. Allow the animal to make the final approach once you are close. Call to it in a soothing voice and try to get the animal to come to you. Put out your hand, gently pat the ground, and you can also toss the animal food, throw the food to the side and not directly at the wee beast. "U can haz cheezeburger" is a good choice.

4. Avoid prolonged eye contact. Look to one side of the dog rather than staring it down. Dogs consider this to be a sign of domination. They interpret it as a kind of challenge and it can cause the dog to think you want to fight. (Ever notice that dogs you know will usually not keep your gaze for long? Or cats that glare at each other for as long as possible before a fight. To them it's very rude, so this is why. And why it's best to avoid it!) Compliment the size of his package, instead.

5. Hold out your hand so that the back of your hand is facing the animal. This is less threatening to most animals, and also lessens the chances of your fingers being bitten. Show nothing smaller than a C note so as to avoid "dissing" (ie:insulting) the animal.

6. Observe the animal's body language if it does not approach. It's best to let cats come to you, they are hunters themselves but small enough to know to know the perils of being the hunted! But for dogs you may slowly - very slowly - start to take a few SMALL steps toward the animal if it seems friendly but just shy. This is not the time to show off the "Stomp" moves you learned in last week's dance class.

7. Stay calm and slowly back away if a dog and snarls or bares its teeth... or a cat and it's growling or hissing at you. Do NOT run! Instead, travel in a serpentine path.

8. Remain motionless as the animal sniffs at your arse.

9. Allow the animal to finish it's examination of your arse and then slowly move your hand from the front of its face to just behind one of its balls, and scratch or pet gently. Remember that many animals have areas that they do not like having touched, so go slowly.

10. Wait until the animal is comfortable before reaching for the "medicinal supplies". Speak softly and move slowly to avoid frightening or startling the animal. Cautiously drop a few Snausages® in your wake to distract him from the scent of your butt.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?


Last edited by Digmenow; 05-09-2008 at 12:41 PM. Reason: Ross's request. We aim to please!
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post #38 of 45 (permalink) Old 05-09-2008, 06:21 AM Thread Starter
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^^^

Thank you for that very educational and informative post...

However, as this is an Antipodean thread, I would request you use arse instead of ass...

Thank you for your co-operation...

Ross

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post #39 of 45 (permalink) Old 07-12-2008, 05:39 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you Dig for that grammatical/cultural correction...

Anyhow, as most would think they had finally been spared the pathetic emotional transfer of human to dog with pictures drying up, here are some more...


I am going away on Thursday (eventually winding up spending a few days in the LOTFAP - of which I am looking forward to...) I will miss the little tyke for the three weeks I am away
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post #40 of 45 (permalink) Old 08-07-2008, 04:51 AM
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Now that you're back, more pictures of the Brown Brothers?

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