What is a libertarian salad? - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:15 PM Thread Starter
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What is a libertarian salad?

Lettuce alone!

****************


"How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"None. The Market will take care of it."

****************


Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th candy bar, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little Tony replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little Tony answered, "No, he minded his own stinking business."

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:19 PM
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I'm with Little Tony.

The biggest problems we are facing right now have to do with George Bush trying to bring more and more power into the executive branch and not go through Congress at all and thats what I intend to reverse.

~ Senator Barack H. Obama
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:27 PM
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you all will like this

> When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
> Take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it
> Out on someone you don't know.
>
>
>
> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
> To make. I found the number and dialed it.
>
> A man answered, saying "Hello."
>
> I politely said, "This is DAVE. Could I please speak with Robyn
> Carter?"
>
> Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing
> Number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
>
>
>
> I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
> Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
> Transposed the last two digits.
>
> After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
>
> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!"
> And hung up.
>
>
>
> I wrote his number
> down with the word 'asshole' next to it,and put it
> In my desk drawer.
>
> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
> Day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
>
> It always cheered me up.
>
> When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
> Calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,
> This is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if
> You're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
>
> He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
>
> I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
> Asshole!" and hung up.
>
>
>
> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
> Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
> Patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
> For that spot, but the idiot ignored me.
>
> I noticed a ! "For Sale " sign in his back window, so I
> wrote down his number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had
> His number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW
> Asshole,too.
>
> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>
> He said, "Yes, it is."
>
> I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and the car's
> Parked right out in front."
>
> I asked, "What's your name?"
>
> He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
>
> I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
>
> I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> He said, "Yes?"
>
> I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
>
> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
>
>
>
> Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
>
> Then I came up with an idea.
>
> I called asshole #1.
>
> He said, "Hello."
>
> I
> said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
>
> He asked, "Are you still there?"
>
> I said, "Yeah,"
>
> He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
>
> I said, "Make me,"
>
> He asked, "Who are you?"
>
> I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
>
> I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . I have a
> Black Beamer parked in front."
>
> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
> Saying your prayers."
>
> I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
>
>
>
> Then I called Asshole #2.
>
> He said, "Hello?"
>
> I said, "Hello, asshole,"
>
> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> I said, "You'll what?"
>
> He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
>
> I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
> now."
>
>
>
> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
> 34 Oaktree Blvd
> , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way home to kill
> my gay lover.
>
> Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree
> Blvd. in Fairfax .
>
> I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .
>
> I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of
> each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
> surrounded by a news crew.
>
> NOW I feel much better.

>
.
> Anger management really does work



living on the edge driving a fine line
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:33 PM
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^very good

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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:35 PM
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HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw
that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed
. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"



George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!



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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:35 PM
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that was f@#%ing awesome
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Digmenow View Post
Lettuce alone!

****************


"How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"None. The Market will take care of it."

****************


Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th candy bar, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little Tony replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little Tony answered, "No, he minded his own stinking business."
How about this tongue in cheek remark: Tossing Salad

2005 S430 4Matic 'Morton' W220.183 722.671 Rest in Peace

Bells and whistles are thorns and thistles.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:39 PM
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this is for the people that like politics
Difference between the left and right
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked
about his bill and the barber replies: ‘I’m sorry, I cannot accept money
from you; I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist is pleased
and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the
barber again replies: ‘I’m sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I’m
doing community service this week.’ The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
Next morning when the e barber goes to open up there are a thank you card
and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his
bill the barber again replies: ‘I’m sorry, I cannot accept money from
you; I’m doing community service this week.’ The Republican is very happy
and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open, there is
a thank you card and a gift certificate for lunch at a nearby restaurant.
Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill
the barber again replies: ‘I’m sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I’m
doing community service this week.’ The Democrat is very happy and leaves
the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a
dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut…
………and that my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the left and right.


hope you like



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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 07:46 PM
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one for drew .


GOD'S BUSY

If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!!



A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in and looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.' It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?'
The Marine calmly replied, 'God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me.'




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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 08:31 PM
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I have Marines in some of my classes maybe I should try this trick. My only worry is that if God gets to me first














Anyone knows how can I join the ACLU?
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