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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by chromejunkie View Post
Difference between the left and right
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked
about his bill and the barber replies: ‘I’m sorry, I cannot accept money
from you; I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist is pleased
and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the
barber again replies: ‘I’m sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I’m
doing community service this week.’ The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
Next morning when the e barber goes to open up there are a thank you card
and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his
bill the barber again replies: ‘I’m sorry, I cannot accept money from
you; I’m doing community service this week.’ The Republican is very happy
and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open, there is
a thank you card and a gift certificate for lunch at a nearby restaurant.
Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill
the barber again replies: ‘I’m sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I’m
doing community service this week.’ The Democrat is very happy and leaves
the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a
dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut…
………and that my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the left and right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chromejunkie View Post


If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!!
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in and looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.' It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?'
The Marine calmly replied, 'God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me.'
And this is why you NEVER see, hear or read a Conservative Comic.

McBear,
Kentucky

Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 10:09 PM
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Originally Posted by mcbear View Post
And this is why you NEVER see, hear or read a Conservative Comic.
Are you sure you don't drink now and then?

Miller's Crossing . . .
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 10:14 PM
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Miller is a boorish cocksucker. I'd say PJ O'Rourke is the most sophisticated and interesting conservative humorist.
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-30-2008, 10:40 PM
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Bullshit. You need to look around.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mcbear View Post
And this is why you NEVER see, hear or read a Conservative Comic.
This one is by a conservative, and it is a fucking scream.

Just look at this:

Day by Day Cartoon by Chris Muir

Day by Day Cartoon by Chris Muir

Jim
<--- superschnelle 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV, Hochverdichtung = high compression (11/2011) ... Wie im Freien Fall. Nur horizontal.


"I swear to god, it's like I live in a trailer of common sense, and stare out the window at a tornado of stupidity." >'='<

Last edited by cascade; 01-30-2008 at 10:45 PM.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-31-2008, 12:58 PM
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Are you sure you don't drink now and then?

Miller's Crossing . . .
Positive. Young Dennis fell flat on his face as soon as he tried to become Conservative topical. Which explains why he is on Fox now. His former wit died when he tried going from humor against everyone to pushing a point of view.

It's his right, and his career. Fox, rubber chicken Republican fundraisers warming up the audience for Hannity or Coulter or Rove and a tour that doesn't sell out and is down to about 10 gigs a year. He WAS doing 100 dates a year in the mid 90s - when he was funny.

https://www.dennismillerradio.com/ag...ppearances.jsp

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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-31-2008, 02:55 PM
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^ Couldn't be that he's old and fairly well off and has interests outside of show business anymore...
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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-31-2008, 03:15 PM
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^ Couldn't be that he's old and fairly well off and has interests outside of show business anymore...
Not from what I have seen of his act [saw him in Vegas last year]. He certainly TRIES to stay in show business. He just lost his relevance.

I also saw him in the early Nineties in NYC so I do have something directly to compare.

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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-31-2008, 05:25 PM
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Explanation Of Life...




On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family . For this, I will give you a life span of sixty
Years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years ? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you...



living on the edge driving a fine line
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-31-2008, 08:18 PM
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Originally Posted by cascade View Post
This one is by a conservative, and it is a fucking scream.

Just look at this:

Day by Day Cartoon by Chris Muir

Day by Day Cartoon by Chris Muir
I did not mean to suggest there are not GREAT conservative political cartoonists. I have as many on my frig as Bushies.

McBear,
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-31-2008, 08:53 PM
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^^^

Matt Wuerker is far far from a conservative. He does work for...ahem, Z Magazine, The Nation, The Progressive and other leftwing rags. In short, he's my kind of conservative; a conservative Socialist.
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