Dear Abby.... - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 04:25 PM Thread Starter
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Dear Abby....

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat.

He has cheated on me from the beginning; and, when I confront him, he denies
everything.

What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating!

Also, since he lost his job seven years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one.

All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his
buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.

And since our daughter went away to college, he doesn't even pretend to like me
and hints that I may be a lesbian.

What should I do?

Signed,

Clueless

__________________________________________________ _______________

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump this bum!

Good grief, woman; you don't need him anymore.

You're a Senator from New York and a candidate for President of the United
States.

Act like it.

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c328/nutz4benz/W123/6C3A9CA5-EDFF-4834-8125-34B70B20A676_zpsiyesrawz.jpg
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 04:41 PM
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Thank you, John Prine

Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
Signed Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered...

Chorus:
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy

Unhappy, Unhappy...

Repeat Chorus

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed Noise-maker

Noise-maker, Noise-maker

Repeat Chorus

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married

Just Married, Just Married...

Repeat Chorus

The biggest problems we are facing right now have to do with George Bush trying to bring more and more power into the executive branch and not go through Congress at all and that’s what I intend to reverse.

~ Senator Barack H. Obama
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz 4 Benz View Post
Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat.

He has cheated on me from the beginning; and, when I confront him, he denies
everything.

What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating!

Also, since he lost his job seven years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one.

All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his
buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.

And since our daughter went away to college, he doesn't even pretend to like me
and hints that I may be a lesbian.

What should I do?

Signed,

Clueless

__________________________________________________ _______________

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump this bum!

Good grief, woman; you don't need him anymore.

You're a Senator from New York and a candidate for President of the United
States.

Act like it.
But I heard he was the new stylist for Leer Eye for the Straight Dy...

Maybe I read that wrong.

Gotta go. Musical starts in 30 minutes. It's Legally Blonde night.

McBear,
Kentucky

Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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