Voodoo Penis - Mercedes-Benz Forum

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 05:23 AM Thread Starter
Boring Cars...meh!
Nutz 4 Benz's Avatar
Date registered: Aug 2005
Vehicle: 81 280E, 84 500SEC, 87 560, 89 "300E", 91 500SL, 15 E350 4Matic Estate, 71 BMW 2002, +others
Location: Maui
Posts: 15,945
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 16 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
(Thread Starter)
Voodoo Penis

A Florida businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, "Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except...the Voodoo Penis!"

The husband said "The what?"

The man repeated "The Voodoo Penis" and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed and said, "It looks like a dildo!"

The man then pointed to the door and said, "Voodoo Penis, door!"

The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Then, the man said..... "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"..... and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it. He took it home to his wife. After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Voodoo Penis.

She undressed, opened the box and said "Voodoo Penis, my crotch." The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off. So she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, the woman said "I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me..."

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied,
"Yeah right...Voodoo Penis, my ass...!"

Nutz 4 Benz is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 05:47 AM
BenzWorld Elite
yoseyman's Avatar
Date registered: Nov 2005
Vehicle: Baby
Location: 1313 Mockingbird lane
Posts: 9,689
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yoseyman is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 06:37 AM
BenzWorld Elite
Naomilla2.0's Avatar
Date registered: Nov 2003
Vehicle: 1988 560SEL sold:
Location: Level 42
Posts: 4,717
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

However, wouldn't "return to box" command create confusion for the voodoo penis?



Naomilla2.0 is offline  
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 02:07 PM
CH4S Artist
Teutone's Avatar
Date registered: Sep 2004
Vehicle: 1985 500SEC, 1991 190E 2.6.
Location: Los Angeles / Hannover Germany
Posts: 33,442
Mentioned: 11 Post(s)
Quoted: 937 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
Thats funny
Teutone is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 02:19 PM
BenzWorld Elite
FeelTheLove's Avatar
Date registered: Sep 2004
Vehicle: 83 Astral Silver 280 SL
Location: Planet Houston
Posts: 28,829
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
Haven't heard that one since high school.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

-President Barack Obama, 1st Inaugural address
FeelTheLove is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-18-2008, 03:48 PM
BenzWorld Elite
Smackrattle's Avatar
Date registered: Nov 2005
Posts: 12,390
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 146 Post(s)
I like these:

Smackrattle is online now  
Sponsored Links

  Mercedes-Benz Forum > General Mercedes-Benz Forums > Off-Topic

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mercedes-Benz Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


  • Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
    Thread Tools
    Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
    Email this Page Email this Page
    Display Modes
    Linear Mode Linear Mode

    Similar Threads
    Topic Author Forum Replies Last Post
    VOODOO IN HAITI Designo_E320 Off-Topic 3 08-07-2007 11:04 AM
    the penis game dklein Off-Topic 9 02-12-2007 06:15 PM
    Indonesian Democrat Voodoo Practitioner Tries to Jinx Bush Jakarta Expat Off-Topic 10 11-17-2006 12:01 PM
    anyone willing to help me w/a small penis? Naomilla2.0 Off-Topic 4 02-25-2006 08:48 PM
    The Penis Pump Nutz 4 Benz Off-Topic 4 02-21-2006 02:01 AM

    Posting Rules  
    You may post new threads
    You may post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are On
    Pingbacks are On
    Refbacks are On


    Title goes here

    video goes here
    description goes here. Read Full Story
    For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome