The Difference Between Liberals, Conservatives, And Southerners - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-24-2007, 01:36 PM Thread Starter
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The Difference Between Liberals, Conservatives, And Southerners

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with killing just me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1 ? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative Answer: BANG!

Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! rackety-click...(sounds of reloading). Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?" Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

Don't believe everything you think
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post #2 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-24-2007, 02:12 PM
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You won't get any argument from me. But personally, I prefer a 1911 in .45 and Federal Hydra-Shoks.

Drive as fast as you can...but no faster.
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post #3 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-24-2007, 02:43 PM
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You forgot the BlueDog Democrats [that would be Southern Democrats].

First he would not have a Glock40 [a nice Tupperware gun usually purchased after watching 50Cent videos or by those easily impressed by the gun salesman who says "you don't need training or practice"]

Second, the 1911 Colt would come out of a quick draw holster. If there was not one in the pipe the sound of the slide alone would make most knifies stop but if not, the single Black Talon would.

Of course the Southern man would have enough situational awareness to not have the problem in the first place.

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post #4 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-24-2007, 02:46 PM
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From the point of view of most Americans, I'm pretty Liberal. But I'd drop that guy like a bag of dirt if he was coming at my family. There'd be plenty of time after his funeral to figure out if he was off his meds or didn't get hugged enough as a child.
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post #5 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-24-2007, 05:08 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by mcbear View Post
You forgot the BlueDog Democrats [that would be Southern Democrats].

First he would not have a Glock40 [a nice Tupperware gun usually purchased after watching 50Cent videos or by those easily impressed by the gun salesman who says "you don't need training or practice"]

Second, the 1911 Colt would come out of a quick draw holster. If there was not one in the pipe the sound of the slide alone would make most knifies stop but if not, the single Black Talon would.

Of course the Southern man would have enough situational awareness to not have the problem in the first place.
Typical bear answer... I love it!



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post #6 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-24-2007, 10:17 PM
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I own a Glock, but I still perfer the Hi Power.

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post #7 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-24-2007, 10:26 PM
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So do I need to buy a Glock?
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post #8 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-25-2007, 03:22 AM
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Originally Posted by maine_coon View Post
So do I need to buy a Glock?
Can you steal one? That way it's not registered to you. Try to get invited to FTL's place for a weekend.

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post #9 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-25-2007, 07:13 AM
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Don't taze him bro's
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post #10 of 40 (permalink) Old 12-25-2007, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by maine_coon View Post
So do I need to buy a Glock?
No, there are better guns out there.... H&K, Walther, Browning, etc. something in at least .40 S&W caliber. You might want to consider a revolver, many folks consider them easier to control as they don't bounce around as much.....

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