Santa Answers Honestly - Mercedes-Benz Forum

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 07:12 AM Thread Starter
BenzWorld Elite
yoseyman's Avatar
Date registered: Nov 2005
Vehicle: Baby
Location: 1313 Mockingbird lane
Posts: 9,689
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(Thread Starter)
Santa Answers Honestly

> If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly.....
> ************************************************** ***
> Deer Santa,
> I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
> I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.
> Yer Friend, Billy
> Dear Billy,
> Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
> How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell?
> I'm giving your older brother the space ranger.
> At least HE can spell.
> Santa
> ************************************************** ***
> Dear Santa,
> I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
> and joy in the world for everybody!
> Love, Sarah
> Dear Sarah,
> Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> Santa
> ************************************************** **
> Dear Santa,
> I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
> mommy and daddy to get back together.
> Please see what you can do.
> Love, Teddy
> Dear Teddy,
> Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
> hurricane.
> Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom,
> who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
> Let me send you some Lego's instead.
> Santa
> ************************************************** **
> Dear Santa,
> I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joe's, a dog, a
> drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
> Love, Francis
> Dear Francis,
> Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay.
> I'll set you up with a Barbie.
> Santa
> ************************************************** **
> Dear Santa,
> I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
> your reindeer outside the back door.
> Love, Susan
> Dear Susan,
> Milk gives me the shit's and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
> riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?
> Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
> Santa
> ************************************************** **
> Dear Santa,
> What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
> Are you busy making toys?
> Your friend, Thomas
> Dear Thomas,
> All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend
> most of my time making low-budget porno films.
> I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail
> waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to
> know.
> Santa
> ************************************************** **
> Dear Santa,
> Do you see us when we're sleeping,
> do you really know when we're awake,
> like in the song?
> Love, Jessica
> Dear Jessica,
> Are you really that gullible?
> Good luck in whatever you do.
> I'm skipping your house.
> Santa
> ************************************************** **
> Dear Santa,
> I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE
> could I have the one?
> Love, Timmy
> Dear Timmy,
> That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
> doesn't work with me.
> You're getting a sweater again.
> Santa
> ************************************************** **
> Dearest Santa,
> We don't have a chimney in our house.
> How do you get into our home?
> Love, Marky
> Dear Mark,
> First stop calling yourself "Marky",
> that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school.
> Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment
> complex.
> Third, I get inside your pad just like the bogey man does, through your
> bedroom window.
> Sweet dreams,
> Santa
yoseyman is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 07:12 PM
Forum Administrator RC Colas® & Moon Pies®
Digmenow's Avatar
Date registered: Oct 2006
Vehicle: 1981 380SL 151K: 2001 E320 4Matic Estate 147K: 2008 E350 Sport 4Matic 120K: 2005 S500 116K
Location: The Land of Pleasant Living
Posts: 36,144
Mentioned: 13 Post(s)
Quoted: 1131 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
Santa sounds a lot like Shane.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Digmenow is offline  
post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 07:45 PM
Lifetime Premium Member
Shane's Avatar
Date registered: Aug 2002
Vehicle: And what was left was what was guilt was what u gave to me
Location: A cavalcade of strangers came to tear ur world apart
Posts: 41,528
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Quoted: 1728 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
^Aw ain't you just the sweetest little thang.
Shane is offline  
Sponsored Links

  Mercedes-Benz Forum > General Mercedes-Benz Forums > Off-Topic

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mercedes-Benz Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


  • Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
    Thread Tools
    Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
    Email this Page Email this Page
    Display Modes
    Linear Mode Linear Mode

    Similar Threads
    Topic Author Forum Replies Last Post
    Honestly, should I get the S600 or the S65 viper655rt10 General AMG 16 03-24-2008 01:13 PM
    Honestly....why cut the top off a 500SEL? Sphynx W126 S,SE,SEC,SEL,SD,SDL Class 25 12-28-2007 08:57 PM
    Honestly, should I get an S65 or just the S600? viper655rt10 W221 S-Class 7 10-08-2007 05:42 PM
    Honestly,just how slow is a 240D ? Nutz 4 Benz W123 E,CE,D,CD,TD,TE Class 17 08-27-2006 08:34 AM
    Honestly, how i feel mixmstrk W203 C-Class 14 02-20-2005 11:01 AM

    Posting Rules  
    You may post new threads
    You may post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are On
    Pingbacks are On
    Refbacks are On


    Title goes here

    video goes here
    description goes here. Read Full Story
    For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome