A Fundamentalist - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 03:45 AM Thread Starter
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A Fundamentalist

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian




10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 04:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Corkscrew View Post
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers.
More like 0.0000000000001% success rate. Most of the "answered" prayers are those "close enough to what I asked for so I'll count it" kind of prayers.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 04:19 AM
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Thanks for that, at least I know now im not a fundamentalist. Also I had to check the spelling for that word

ERIC.

___________________________________________
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 04:58 AM
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Beware of fundamentalists...........

Ross

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beware of fundamentalists

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 05:42 AM
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heh, heh.....how interesting! heh, heh......a few names immediately spring to mind, one in particular being the foremost! heh, heh.....no doubt he will be making himself known in response to this post! heh, heh.......
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 12:03 PM
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But Wait...There's more...

11. You say you have a degree in Theology but turns out its just a BA in Religion and "hours" toward a Masters.

12. You wonder if Satan and Jesus are Brothers.

13. You wonder if Jesus the son of God and Jesus the gardener are Brothers.

14. You believe that the Flintstones is a Historical Documentary

15. You believe in Biblical Inerrancy except for the parts that suddenly become "allegorical" when you are questioned about them.

16. You believe that what the Bible says about Gays is ABSOLUTE but what it says about Thou Shalt not Kill is subject to interpretation and has codicils.

17. You claim the world is only 6500 years old when discussing the "science of evolution" but claim that the world has been going through climate fluctuation for millions of years when discussing the "science of climate change".

This is fun.

McBear,
Kentucky

Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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