Surely A Large Human
Date registered: Jun 2006
Vehicle: '08 C219
Location: Between Earth and Mars
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Quoted: 613 Post(s)
I happened to be behind the wheel of a 'willfully liberated' LSC, without a license to drive mind you, when I found myself staring at a very good looking young woman on the side of the road. This distraction led me to bump, ever so lightly, into a car stopped at a red light.
Not necessarily so big a deal, except you need to factor in the rest of the story.
1) Said car contained a wanna-be mafioso, a crank & coke addict, and a psychotic "madam" who earlier ate remnants of a pot leaf out of the insole of her shoe (wasn't wearing socks).
2) Said car's trunk contained as much skunk weed as could be shoved into large trash bags. You see, it's widely available along fence roads in many parts of the midwest. Trick is to get it without local's shooting & burying you. Involves a lot of camo, wrapping trash bags around your lower legs & affixing w/ duct tape, use of walkie-talkies, etc.
3) Bumped car began to look frighteningly like an unmarked police car.
4) Driver of the bumped car had a business card which read "Director - Institute of Continuing Legal Education".
Thank God everyone was, and stayed cool. Made for a very, very interesting drive home. Bottom line, when I talk about the perils of running with a bad crowd, I know whereof I speak.