Laughs....not for Jayhawk! - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-12-2007, 04:59 AM Thread Starter
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Laughs....not for Jayhawk!

heh, heh.......Jayhawk, you better take a few days off if you want to linger through these! heh, heh........

CLOSE SHAVE!
Skinny shrimp of a little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
HUGE guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner
Brown."

The shrimp skinny man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little skinny guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7
feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles
weighs 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small skinny guy says: "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around!"


PADDY'S DELIGHT!
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.

Paddy says, "Me feet are freez'n mate, could ya nip upstairs and get me
slippers?"

"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two
stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds.

"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."

"Fook off you liar!" they both chime.

"I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of
them, Paddy?"

"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"



AAAAAH!
A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone.

A few days later he received this report:
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE, I WATCH HOUSE. HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH. HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW. HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW. HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE. HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE. HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.....I PLAY WITH ME......I FALL OFF TREE......I NO SEE.

NO FEE,

CHEN LEE....



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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-12-2007, 05:10 AM
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Good stuff, the last one reminds me of Sinbads Joke:

College student letter :

Dear Dad,

So sad, no mon no fun

Your son


Fathers reply:

Dear Son,

Too bad your sad.

Your Dad
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-12-2007, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by steve58 View Post
Good stuff, the last one reminds me of Sinbads Joke:

College student letter :

Dear Dad,

So sad, no mon no fun

Your son


Fathers reply:

Dear Son,

Too bad your sad.

Your Dad
You mucked that up...

It is actually "No mon, no fun, your son..." and "Too bad, so sad, your dad..."

Don't believe everything you think
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-12-2007, 12:12 PM
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Damn Poonjabber who's writing your material, Morry Amsterdam?

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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-12-2007, 08:13 PM
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Damn Poonjabber who's writing your material, Morry Amsterdam?
Maybe Henny Youngman.

Now, take Punjab...Please.

McBear,
Kentucky

Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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