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post #21 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-12-2007, 09:02 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by QBNCGAR View Post
^ No, not your shoulders. How to put this politely......

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post #22 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-12-2007, 09:05 AM
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post #23 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-13-2007, 05:06 AM Thread Starter
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Thursday, 12/13/2007

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Yeah i do,you shouldn't beat a guy just because he exhibits profoundly bad taste in automobiles.
http://www.benzworld.org/forums/off-...ml#post1484320

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post #24 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-14-2007, 07:51 AM Thread Starter
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As I read this tale for the first time, I found myself amused at just WHO was on the side of the 'pigs'.

Friday, 12/14/2007

Quote:
I was out taking a walk in the early hours this morning when i hear an almighty bang.I can see in the distance a car has hit a tree so i run straight there to see if i can help.When i get there, the car is full of smoke but i can just make out a driver and passenger.I start to call 999 and the driver's door opens and a guy slumps out.The passenger, a woman is moaning,semi-conscious.By this time a resident from the other side of the street runs up to help and attends the woman in the passenger seat.The guy has now gotten fully conscious and is running around in the middle of the road like a headless chicken shouting and yelling so i try to get him onto the pavement.As i approach him the smell of alcohol makes my eyes water.He now runs around to the passenger side of the car and starts shouting at his 'wife' and tries to grab her out of the car,sreaming " there's nuffin' wrong wiv yer,get out the car ya silly cow..etc"I have to pull him off and leave the householder to try to help the poor woman is now screaming.The SOB takes a swing at me so i push him against the wall and try to get him to be quiet.He calms down for a couple of minutes and then the pigs arrive who take one look and sniff of him and try to arrest him.He then punches the woman PC as she tries to cuff him so me and the male PC lean into him to restrain him while he spits, kicks and punches to try to get free.An ambulance then arrives and his poor wife is stretchered away.Two more pigs arrive and it takes five of us to get this arsehole into the police van.Unfortunately,i think he banged his head as we were helping him into the van.
It seems the car, a VW Golf, was doing abt 30mph when he swerved into the tree.The hood was 'V'd between the headlights so that the point was only about 4" from the base of the windscreen.Neither of them were wearing seatbelts but they both had front airbags, without which they would have both been killed for sure.
I'm gonna try to wear my seatbelt in future and i'm pretty sure my next car will have to have airbags!!!!
http://www.benzworld.org/forums/off-...ml#post1522794

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post #25 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-14-2007, 11:53 PM Thread Starter
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Saturday, 12/15/2007

Did he HAVE to say "Omega"? By now, pretty much everyone knows who makes the Seamaster.

Yo, Deafy. Does it tell you what time you're due back?

Quote:
A few weeks ago,my Pa found my Seiko'5'auto that i got as a teenager.I haven't worn it in 30 years since quartz watches hit the market.It is so 70s chic,i love it and my Omega Seamaster is consigned to the kitchen drawer.Unfortunately,i was wearing the Seiko when i had a major motorcycle crash when i was a kid so the case has afew little digs to remind me of my mis-spent youth.
Incidently,having spent 30 years in a box untouched,it started up after a couple of shakes and keeps perfect time.Wow!
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post #26 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 02:01 AM
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^^^^You are not in the right area or you are not using the right bait.............









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post #27 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 02:52 AM
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"He was a gentleman, Deathrattle, and what's more he knew how to treat a female impersonator..."

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post #28 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 03:18 AM
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heh, heh......although in a temporary "rattled" state, I reckon the best of DR has yet to come! heh, heh......
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post #29 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Digmenow View Post
Um, possibly not the best choice considering my question above.
Agreed.

So when will you get to the thread where DR tells the story about porking some chick in his boss’ office leaving a funky odor?
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post #30 of 97 (permalink) Old 12-15-2007, 10:46 PM Thread Starter
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Sunday 12/16/2007

Quote:
The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff.
He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the watercooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the boss approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like shit."
http://www.benzworld.org/forums/off-...ss#post1799268

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