As most know I lost my mom last week [well, didn't exactly lose her, I know EXACTLY where she is] and the funeral was yesterday. Since most of her friends and many of her family peers are her age they have already passed away or were too old to come to the services so there were not too many people there.
I know the funeral director pretty well and actually had an over/under bet on both family members and overall attendance. I am hoping he will return my check but not holding my breath. Those who know me, know that humor [humoUr for DR] is my best coping mechanism since they don't let me shoot things any longer.
During the service the minister starting reading from Psalms 139 [I have no idea why she picked it] but after the service she asked why I had such a strange look on my face while she read it. Answer after the verses.
You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
I told her that nearly as soon as she started speaking the words, my brain started running "I'll be watching you" by The Police. I was attempting to not start snickering or whistling it - although the last funeral I went to, my mom and her sister started giggling in the middle of the service for some unknown reason.
She would have approved.
I have a cousin who is a minister and is in pretty tight with the local funeral guys in his community. The jokes, man...the jokes. WE have NO idea...!
My Father owned a pair of fake bloodshot, bulging eyeballs that he'd pop in at Halloween, weddings, whatever, whenever there was a photo op.
My Sister and I could not let him leave us without doing what we knew he would have done so Dad (very briefly) wore his fake eyeballs one last time. Yes, we took a picture but I don't know you well enough to share here.
Dad would have laughed his ass off.
Here's Reese, modeling for your pleasure (obviously not for his!).