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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-08-2007, 10:34 PM Thread Starter
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Two Australian Builders..........

Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.

Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.

Phil: - 'Scuse me.. No offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?


Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.

Phil: - Oh! What's that then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?

Phil: - Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Phil: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden

Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

Phil: - Me? Never.

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Phil: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.

Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Eric: - What's that then?

Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Eric: - Nope.

Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.

Last edited by Jakarta Expat; 11-08-2007 at 10:41 PM.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-08-2007, 10:57 PM
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^I like it!
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-09-2007, 03:44 AM
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Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.
Language of that type is NOT appreciated in the continental United States. It is, however, permissible in Alaska and Hawaii.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-09-2007, 03:52 AM Thread Starter
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Language of that type is NOT appreciated in the continental United States. It is, however, permissible in Alaska and Hawaii.
What no goldfish at your home, you must be Eric.......
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-09-2007, 04:00 AM
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Who is Eric?

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-09-2007, 04:05 AM Thread Starter
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Who is Eric?

A little slow out of the gate today are we?

Eric is the 2nd builder who does not have goldfish at home, hence he is the tosser......
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-09-2007, 04:29 AM
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A little slow out of the gate today are we?
I wuz playin' ya Bobby.


'ow d'ya like me 'at?


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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-09-2007, 04:34 AM Thread Starter
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^^^It fits, suppose it is helpful when those hicks come in to do their yearly shopping at the big city.......
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