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post #31 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 12:05 PM
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^ You win some sort of Sainthood award for the mere endeavor into the mind of a human butcher. All the more anyone needs to know about raising kids is that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Love your kid, love yourself. Hate your kid, hate yourself.

Of course, there are no apple trees in the desert, soooo............
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post #32 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 12:07 PM
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Yes. Let him know that other families have their own standards and that's fine - let him know that their decisions ought to be respected. However, let your son know also that as a part of Designo family, he is expected dress the way Designo family cares to.

Over time, he will accept and respect the differences between each person.

By not being able to counter such obvious retort by your son, you are letting him know that you are just as susceptible to peer pressure around you as opposed to demonstrating the ability to be comfortable about who you are and about your principles.




Yes, but harmful in the long run as already stated. Stereotypical views instilled at early age is difficult to overcome. Ever seen white ruling class kids in bygone era of Apartheid South Africa being taught about race in their classrooms?




Why would you feel the need to quantify 'values' and rank them in order of superiority? Why can't you get the message across to your son that different people have different opinions (sometimes people agree, sometimes they don't; different people have different decision making criteria) and leave it at that.
You did make some great points The thing that I was trying to avoid was the "why"? "Why are our values different than theirs?" or "Are Designo family values better/superior?" or etc. In that case i would be back to square one. That can get long and drawn out. You did point out some great stuff and I will most likely be taking your advice in another couple of years when his brain has matured a little more. He is 7. Thanks for the advice though. Just for the record, my son has more African-American friends than from any other race. None of them wear funny clothes. All of his friends parents are highly educated and work hard and honest and promote good values as I do.
post #33 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 12:17 PM
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Ehh?

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post #34 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 12:33 PM
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We should remember where the fashion came from, though.
It came from when thugs get put in lockup and they take their belts away.
It then moved outside as a fashion display of street cred.

So, it's not all just a "culture difference".
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post #35 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 01:41 PM
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heh, heh.....hey Designo, cut the crap and dress the boy proper! heh, heh......Cool Blues! heh, heh........
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post #36 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 01:55 PM
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heh, heh......or make him 'future-proof' heh, heh.......cool_dude! heh, heh......
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post #37 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 06:21 PM
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Children will always push the edges of their boundaries as they grow. They also have a fairly limited attention span for this type of life lesson so you have to get in and get out fairly quickly. Explain that underpants are not supposed to be seen by other people and those who show theirs in this fashion look silly and leave it at that.

You can't get drawn into an interminable discussion because you will most likely run out of patience before the kid runs out of questions.

Once out of your sight, the child will probably do as they please until they tire of holding up their pants with one hand or the fashion moves on.

I can still recall coming home from work to find my teen high school daughter's strawberry blond hair shaved from one side of her head and the stubble dyed green. The look she received gave her all the information she needed about her new style and it soon returned to its natural color and grew back to an appropriate length.

Save the long talks for the important things. Provide fair discipline the child can understand. Watch for unusual changes and manner and appearance and talk about the reasons for THAT.

Best of luck, Pops.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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post #38 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 06:31 PM
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Hey Dig tell us about your fashion faux pas when growing up

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post #39 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 06:56 PM
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Bell bottomed pants were trickling down to the Jr. High level and one of my friends had been forbidden by his father to wear them. He bought a pair from the only store in the mall that was selling them and stashed them at another friend's house.

Every morning, he'd leave for school, dressed to his father's standard and then go straight to his friend's house for a quick change and we'd all head off to school.

As for me, I went through early childhood with a crew cut that grew into a Shoney's/Bob's Big Boy pompadour by grade school. The morning after the Beatles appeared on Ed Sullivan, I combed the upsweep down onto my forehead giving me ridiculously short bangs (not unlike McCartney). I avoided my Dad all day until we had to go out in the car. I kept my head turned away until he finally noticed something was amiss.

The look he gave me was the one I handed down to my daughter.

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post #40 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-25-2007, 05:55 AM
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Thumbs up GREAT STUFF!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Digmenow View Post
Children will always push the edges of their boundaries as they grow. They also have a fairly limited attention span for this type of life lesson so you have to get in and get out fairly quickly. Explain that underpants are not supposed to be seen by other people and those who show theirs in this fashion look silly and leave it at that.

You can't get drawn into an interminable discussion because you will most likely run out of patience before the kid runs out of questions.

Once out of your sight, the child will probably do as they please until they tire of holding up their pants with one hand or the fashion moves on.

I can still recall coming home from work to find my teen high school daughter's strawberry blond hair shaved from one side of her head and the stubble dyed green. The look she received gave her all the information she needed about her new style and it soon returned to its natural color and grew back to an appropriate length.

Save the long talks for the important things. Provide fair discipline the child can understand. Watch for unusual changes and manner and appearance and talk about the reasons for THAT.

Best of luck, Pops.
That's some of the BEST advice yet! Somebody understands!!!!!!Nothing better then to get advice from someone who is experienced or who has been there before. Thanks! Appreciated
BTW, I would like to point out another thing here. We may tear each other apart here on OT due to differing opinions but when it comes to family or family issues, everyone takes a step back, takes a deep breath and gives sincere advice because all believe family to be sacred and nobody fucks with family. That IMO is the true sign of superior character of the BWOT members no matter how rowdy we get. Thanks all!

Last edited by Designo_E320; 10-25-2007 at 05:59 AM.
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