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post #21 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:13 AM
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I have an easy way to handle what my boys want to wear. If they want to wear something that I won't agree with then I tell them that I will show up to school to pick them up wearing mommy's clothes or my stuff from the Seventies. Man it never fails because right now they both are in school wearing proper English schoolboys attires

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post #22 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Naomilla2.0 View Post
Again, your heart is in a right place but I question the means to accomplish it.

You missed GS's point. Showing your judgemental side (hip hop = bad) will no doubt have negative effect on your kid in the long run. Simply stating that the way he wanted to dress was not appropriate for school would have been sufficient and there was no need to add value judgement to that persuasion.

When the time comes for the son to start making decisions, your words during will be of great influence to his thought process, hence GS's concern.
How can I tell him that "its not appropriate for school" when the others kids are doing it? He would have said, then why do the other kids do it?" Then do I tell him that those kids parents let them do it? If he asks why then what do i answer, that they don;t care about their kids as much as your parents do for you? Wasn't is just simpler to just tell him bad kids do it? Or should i tell him that other parents a have "different values?" Then I would have to have a discussion about "values" and whose values are better, etc. I think that would be overkill for a 7 year old brain no matter how intelligent he is.
post #23 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:20 AM
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Hey Dr. Designo, here my latest suggestion for you to tone up and get in shape: YouTube - Hip Hop Abs -- Take It To The Dance Floor
Now you need to do this with the whole family to get the kid in shape and wifey all lookin luscious and easier to handle
I like it but they are wearing "normal" clothes for what they are doing. The dancing is great. Oops I found something positive about the hip hop culture If he wants to learn how to dance like that, i don't see any harm.
post #24 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:21 AM
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How can I tell him that "its not appropriate for school" when the others kids are doing it? He would have said, then why do the other kids do it?" Then do I tell him that those kids parents let them do it? If he asks why then what do i answer, that they don;t care about their kids as much as your parents do for you? Wasn't is just simpler to just tell him bad kids do it? Or should i tell him that other parents a have "different values?" Then I would have to have a discussion about "values" and whose values are better, etc. I think that would be overkill for a 7 year old brain no matter how intelligent he is.
You don't have to explain shit just use my method as described above

How do you look in your wife's clothes?

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post #25 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:24 AM
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I have an easy way to handle what my boys want to wear. If they want to wear something that I won't agree with then I tell them that I will show up to school to pick them up wearing mommy's clothes or my stuff from the Seventies. Man it never fails because right now they both are in school wearing proper English schoolboys attires
I will definitely have to try that one! It is so good to hear from someone with such intelligence. Your posts and advice are always welcome here
post #26 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:26 AM
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You don't have to explain shit just use my method as described above

How do you look in your wife's clothes?
I don't think I'd do justice to her clothes.
post #27 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:31 AM
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Also I believe in paying attention to which kids my son hangs out with and I make it a point to get to know the parents of his friends and go out to family dinners with them. Makes better, stronger, and healthier friendships.
post #28 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:44 AM
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chicks who show off their thongs rule.
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post #29 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Designo_E320 View Post
How can I tell him that "its not appropriate for school" when the others kids are doing it? He would have said, then why do the other kids do it?" Then do I tell him that those kids parents let them do it? If he asks why then what do i answer, that they don;t care about their kids as much as your parents do for you?
Yes. Let him know that other families have their own standards and that's fine - let him know that their decisions ought to be respected. However, let your son know also that as a part of Designo family, he is expected dress the way Designo family cares to.

Over time, he will accept and respect the differences between each person.

By not being able to counter such obvious retort by your son, you are letting him know that you are just as susceptible to peer pressure around you as opposed to demonstrating the ability to be comfortable about who you are and about your principles.


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Wasn't is just simpler to just tell him bad kids do it?
Yes, but harmful in the long run as already stated. Stereotypical views instilled at early age is difficult to overcome. Ever seen white ruling class kids in bygone era of Apartheid South Africa being taught about race in their classrooms?


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Originally Posted by Designo_E320 View Post
Or should i tell him that other parents a have "different values?" Then I would have to have a discussion about "values" and whose values are better, etc. I think that would be overkill for a 7 year old brain no matter how intelligent he is.
Why would you feel the need to quantify 'values' and rank them in order of superiority? Why can't you get the message across to your son that different people have different opinions (sometimes people agree, sometimes they don't; different people have different decision making criteria) and leave it at that.

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馬鹿は死ななきゃ治らない。

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post #30 of 43 (permalink) Old 10-24-2007, 12:00 PM
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Oh you are soooo superior. Gonna take the high road are you? Gonna deconstruct it to the bare meaning and work your way out, eh? Well we have guilt trips and manipulation to deal with fellas like you.
sometimes, my superior combination of intellect and reason scares me too.
glad there are folks like you to bring me down so my feet touch the ground.


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馬鹿は死ななきゃ治らない。

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