I may just get bored & motivated enough one night to draw up a business plan that resembles religion. All good religions need to have a few common components to sustain themselves indefinitely. It would basically mimic the old protection racket that dunderheaded mobsters used to run.
Step 1: Write a book of anecdotes, fables, and fairy tales, basically depicting people being rewarded for acting like you think they should act, and cruelly punished for acting badly. The rewards and punishment are handed out at random by an absolute power - all knowing, all seeing, all powerful, and invisible. Make sure that all of the people who act properly are frequently heard telling others that they dare not act against this power out of fear.
Step 2: Set the book far back in history, and fill it with as much innocuous and irrelevant content as possible. This makes it unappealing to read, save for well-marked passages which will be taken out of context for our purposes (see below).
Step 3: Insert a clause within the book, which identifies our brand as the one and only "true" brand. Use of any others will not guarantee the desired results (see below).
Step 4: Establish a bureaucracy and sales staff, designed to prey upon the ignorance of the masses to instill fear, uncertainty, and doubt. The salespeople are the only authorized resellers of our product.
Step 5: Market our product by insinuating that one's actions in life would determine their fate in death, using passages from the book to reinforce the truth of your assertions. Position our product as the remedy for one's transgressions - the only remedy guaranteed to save one's eternal soul. Reinforce that in the afterlife, good people get tremendous rewards, while bad people face horrible penalties. Be as vulgar with both definitions as you wish, so that the stakes are so high as to be impossible to ignore.
Step 6: Open retail outlets whereby customers receive enough of our product to last roughly one week. During their visits, reinforce our marketing plan using excerpts from the book. Ensure that pleas for monetary compensation are made subtly, so that customers feel as if it's their choice to pay for our product.
What am I missing?
I could start a new religion tomorrow. Might even open a "Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster"...