Any Bankers, accountants, here? Shane? Drewprof? - Page 3 - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #21 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-17-2007, 03:43 PM
Designo_E320
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Originally Posted by Roch207
Products & Rates General Page

ING Orange account earns around 4.5% and can be set up to automatically deduct from another bank account. Best part is that your money can be accessed easier than a CD and you can continually build on it.

CD's earn over 5%.
Thanks Roch
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post #22 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-17-2007, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by DavidDuke_E320
I'd rather make a contribution to the gov't of Iran

In order to avoid terrorist monetary support charges, probably best to hand deliver your contribution.

Buy a one way ticket to free up more funds for donation.

And say hello to your fellow unjustly imprisoned US citizens when they escort you to prison.
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post #23 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-17-2007, 06:20 PM
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5k will fund the startup of a very nice meth lab. The returns you are expecting from a low initial investment seem a bit optimistic.

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post #24 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-17-2007, 07:22 PM
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A fool and their money are soon parted. Can't wait to see this.

Okay, doofus. Now I'm no Jew, so take this for what it's worth - I know you were hoping for an authentic, kosher, Maneschewitz answer to your question, but here's what you're up against.

If you start with $5000 and do nothing, you need to get about 27% annual return over 5 years to get to $16,000. Better get used to day trading.

If you start with $5000, and chip in another $100 a month, you only need about a 10% annual return over 5 years to get to $16,000. Look into ticker symbol "SPY", and pray for the best.

Now, I've never known a "doctor" to be A) bad with money, and B) concerned with such petty numbers. But then again, we all know that you're no more a doctor than Jayhawk is a conservative or I am a Jew.

So, sit & spin on a dreidel, you frickin' klansman.
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post #25 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-17-2007, 07:35 PM
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To get any real, meaningful return on your investment think outside the box. Do not play the games that are stacked against you unless you must. In this case the first thing to ask yourself is what are you good at?
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post #26 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-17-2007, 07:42 PM
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^
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post #27 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-18-2007, 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Designo_E320
Hi guys,
I have a question and hoping you guys could throw some information and advice my way. I would like to invest $5000 and would like to do it for 59 months. What are my options as far as high yield savings, bonds, etc. what are the banks paying? Of course I would not be able to withdraw it before the 59 months are up. What is the best and safest way to do this? I would like it to grow up to $16000 by the time I can take it out so approximately how much money would I need to put into that high yield account every month? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am not very good with my money and would like to start off with something low, like $5K. Thanks in advance everybody.
Take some correspondence courses and/or attend vocational school ($5000).

Flip burgers for the next 59 months. You'll recoup $16000 minus the $5000 ($11000) in about that time span.


my good advice falls on deaf ears as I see the inquirer has been banned for a while.

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馬鹿は死ななきゃ治らない。

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post #28 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-18-2007, 08:03 AM
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Money huh , the banks are in panic and I blame Mary Poppins. So many people have seen the film that a "Run on the Bank" is one of our most cherished subconcious beliefs. We are pre-programmed to rush to Northern Rock branches, even if we haven't actually got any savings with them.

The solution is to threaten people with Dick Van Dyke.
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post #29 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-18-2007, 09:40 AM
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HEH, HEH......OLE DESIGNO BANNED AGAIN! WHAT FOR? HEH, HEH........GET'S BETTER! HEH, HEH........
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post #30 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-18-2007, 10:14 AM
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HEH, HEH......OLE DESIGNO BANNED AGAIN! WHAT FOR? HEH, HEH........GET'S BETTER! HEH, HEH........
He was not smart; had he insulted towel heads and Muslims he would still be here
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