Jack Daniels... - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-11-2007, 11:49 PM Thread Starter
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Jack Daniels...

So I was at this bar the other night (as all great stories start off)... I was already half a bottle of jack deep and have a propensity to be either a really funny or really belligerent drunk. When I was going to get some cigarettes the guy at the front door tells me that I'll have to pay cover again to get back in. He had already been breaking my freind's balls so for some reason I decide to take out a ten, tear it into little pieces, toss it into his cash drawer and respond "will your hourly pay take care of it?" I think that this on top of very loudly commenting to my buddies about how lame the place was kind of pissed some people off.

At any rate, a little bit later the show starts. I decided to get myself a beer, and at the same time get one for my freind who might have been underage. Shortly after I give the brew to my friend someone comes up and snatches it. Instinctively I grabbed it back. So this guy shoves me. JD has a way of impeding my decision making process, so my response was to try and make my skinny whiteboy 160lb self look as hard as possible, stare dead ahead right into dude's chest, and shove him back. From the looks of my face I think he clocked me first but the next thing I remember was this guy basically pile driving my face into the floor. After which I heard him say "that's it bro you're out." Only at this point did I realize that it was the six foot something bouncer I had previously torn up money in front of who I got into a "fight" with. So then another one comes over, the two of them pick me up drag me out the door to the edge of the five step high porch and then throw me off. The last part was like something out of a freakin' movie.

Obviously I more than had it coming. But then again it was pretty excessive. Whenever I leave my house, I'm guaranteed to get, more than once "wow, that looks like a really bad car accident." Have to walk with a cane, the whole nine yards. So my question is, what would y'all do in my situation? Chalk it up to idiocy and contemplate going to an AA meeting, sue the place, or find out which guy it was follow him home with some boys and catch him with a tire iron?

Bill

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69,000 miles
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post #2 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-11-2007, 11:55 PM
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Wait a year and shoot the fucker. Just kidding. Don't put yourself in that position again.

Last edited by Shane; 09-11-2007 at 11:58 PM.
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post #3 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 12:04 AM
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Sorry, your shit was a bit wordy and you lost me in the beginning. But as I always suggest, self-manipulation with a corn cob up your ass will cure all your woes,

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post #4 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 12:27 AM
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Next time you intend to enter a bar with a five step high porch, consider placing someing soft ( mattress?) at said steps, before you walk in.
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post #5 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 04:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shane
Wait a year and shoot the fucker. Just kidding. Don't put yourself in that position again.
Don't put yourself in that position agian , Just kidding . Wait a year and shooter the Fucker .
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post #6 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 06:15 AM
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Size:  14.6 KBI'm thinking you need better buddies.....

Last edited by sportline7; 09-15-2007 at 02:06 PM.
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post #7 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 07:25 AM
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What is it with people who own Pontiacs? (shakes head)

Yes, an AA meeting. Yes, new friends.
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post #8 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 07:47 AM
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next time just reach for the jewels and pull them down which will make the dude bend forward and then all you have to do is straighten up and elbow his jaw on your way up. 100% guaranty or your money back!
I have never lost a fight with a bigger dude using this move, ever.
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post #9 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 07:54 AM
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Forget about it. Recover and move on.
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post #10 of 36 (permalink) Old 09-12-2007, 10:34 AM
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Don't put yourself in that position agian , Just kidding . Wait a year and shooter the Fucker .
There ya go!
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