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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 08:51 AM Thread Starter
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Dear Jim

Thought I'd get the ball rolling:

Dear Jim,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls".

It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Signed,
Perplexed

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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 08:57 AM
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Hey there Jim
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Time Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Jim
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Jim
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Jim
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Jim I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Jim
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Jim here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 09:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edfreeman
Thought I'd get the ball rolling:

Dear Jim,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls".

It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Signed,
Perplexed
Dear Perplexed,

Two words. Chastity Belt.

Jim
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 09:46 AM
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Perplexed,

Get the club reshafted. And buy a decent quality shaft for the job. If you are as inept at working with your hands on your other equipment that provides you pleasure as you are with your wife, have the Pro Shop do the deed. Jim
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 09:49 AM
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TruckerButt, I am almost speechless. I didn't know you felt that way before. To be honest, it was something you probably should have kept inside. Sharing that is just not likely to help your situation. Jim
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimSmith
TruckerButt, I am almost speechless. I didn't know you felt that way before. To be honest, it was something you probably should have kept inside. Sharing that is just not likely to help your situation. Jim
Sorry for my outburst. It's just that radio stations just don't play that song enough.

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by JimSmith
Dear Perplexed,

Two words. Chastity Belt.

Jim
Won't that affect the swing?

McBear,
Kentucky

Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted by mcbear
Won't that affect the swing?
Might have needed more than two words with that response. New at this, so cut me a little slack. Didn't think he would consider the Chastity Belt was for him. Jim
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by mcbear
Won't that affect the swing?
Perhaps they can mock one up using c/f. I'm sure the boys at McClaren would enjoy a break from fender bending.

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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-09-2007, 02:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThrillKill
Sorry for my outburst. It's just that radio stations just don't play that song enough.
Do you have a 13 yo daughter, or some other excuse for your familiarity with that "song"?

"If spending money you don't have is the height of stupidity, borrowing money to give it away is the height of insanity." -- anon
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