My experience with a somewhat radical Muslim - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 04:42 PM
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Talking My experience with a somewhat radical Muslim

He was just giving a very nice lecture about peace in Islam so I went to the auditorium to listen. He said pretty cool things and all in all it was a very good lecture which was carefully researched and well presented.
During the lunch break my friends and I had a chance to meet him and sat at his table to mingle with him and sort of brown-nose with our Medical School professors at the same time.
He pointed to me and asked my name and where I was from, so I told him my name and said that I was from the States. He immediately said that there is a lot of social immorality there to which I wholeheartedly agree, given that this was somewhat of a religious venue. Then he also talked about how most American woman are and have been sexually active and have had many many many partners before she finally settles down, and how there are so many abortions, murders, and rapes, and incest there. Even though I was agreeing with what he was saying because in was INFACT the truth I was becoming VERY UNEASY and didn't know how to end it so I just kept on nodding to the facts that he was presenting me. The more he talked shit about America the more I was becoming uneasy and he could see that and to comfort me he would give me a smile. Now I was getting really pissed off.
THEN the subject shifted to MASTURBATION! Now I have been the KING of Whacking OFF in my days so I thought that I would know a quite a lot on this subject. He started saying how even this was very immoral. I knew I could get him now! I know for a FACT that it is OK to masturbate in ISLAM! He, I knew would makes up some BS and make it seem like its against the religion and I knew he was about to give me some BS about it so my ears pointed up as I really wanted to concentrate on EVERY word and trap him! Here is what he said, " Masturbation with your right hand is the same as having sex with you sister and masturbation with your left hand is the same as having sex with your own mother." He then asked me if I had masturbated and I told him "yes". He asked me what I would do from now onwards after learning what he said. I told him that I would ask the mullah if he would use HIS RIGHT hand to perform masturbation on me!
The whole table went quiet and some of the professors started to laugh so hard that their drinks were coming out of their noses. I was disgusted and left the table STUNNING THE HELL OUT OF THAT GUY!
After I left one of my friends turned to the mulla and told him that our friend has hots for your sister and he too left

Last edited by Designo_E320; 07-07-2007 at 04:46 PM.
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 04:47 PM
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Don't you Muslims use both hands?

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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by drewprof
Don't you Muslims use both hands?
Actually we hire non-muslims to do it for us. Applying for a job drew?
post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-07-2007, 04:57 PM
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Actually we hire non-muslims to do it for us. Applying for a job drew?
I also offer value added services certified by the local Rabbi/Imam; I am real fast too. Do you want the full bald or hanging chad service?

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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-08-2007, 04:23 AM
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heh, heh .....bloody mullah hypocrits! They get the young boys to jerk them off! A*seholes should be castrated!

heh, heh.....wonder how ABU-HAMZA manages with the hook!.....heh, heh....maybe some sado-macho jerko specialist like drewprof obliges! heh, heh......
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-08-2007, 11:10 AM
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That guy doesn't sound radical to me. It sounds like any other preacher trying to get you to turn from your sinful ways and he offers you the exclusive path to redemption. Repent now! Send your $20 to the guy in the citadel of prayer so he can pray for you.

B

The biggest problems we are facing right now have to do with George Bush trying to bring more and more power into the executive branch and not go through Congress at all and thatís what I intend to reverse.

~ Senator Barack H. Obama
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-08-2007, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Designo_E320
He was just giving a very nice lecture about peace in Islam so I went to the auditorium to listen. He said pretty cool things and all in all it was a very good lecture which was carefully researched and well presented.
During the lunch break my friends and I had a chance to meet him and sat at his table to mingle with him and sort of brown-nose with our Medical School professors at the same time.
He pointed to me and asked my name and where I was from, so I told him my name and said that I was from the States. He immediately said that there is a lot of social immorality there to which I wholeheartedly agree, given that this was somewhat of a religious venue. Then he also talked about how most American woman are and have been sexually active and have had many many many partners before she finally settles down, and how there are so many abortions, murders, and rapes, and incest there. Even though I was agreeing with what he was saying because in was INFACT the truth I was becoming VERY UNEASY and didn't know how to end it so I just kept on nodding to the facts that he was presenting me. The more he talked shit about America the more I was becoming uneasy and he could see that and to comfort me he would give me a smile. Now I was getting really pissed off.
THEN the subject shifted to MASTURBATION! Now I have been the KING of Whacking OFF in my days so I thought that I would know a quite a lot on this subject. He started saying how even this was very immoral. I knew I could get him now! I know for a FACT that it is OK to masturbate in ISLAM! He, I knew would makes up some BS and make it seem like its against the religion and I knew he was about to give me some BS about it so my ears pointed up as I really wanted to concentrate on EVERY word and trap him! Here is what he said, " Masturbation with your right hand is the same as having sex with you sister and masturbation with your left hand is the same as having sex with your own mother." He then asked me if I had masturbated and I told him "yes". He asked me what I would do from now onwards after learning what he said. I told him that I would ask the mullah if he would use HIS RIGHT hand to perform masturbation on me!
The whole table went quiet and some of the professors started to laugh so hard that their drinks were coming out of their noses. I was disgusted and left the table STUNNING THE HELL OUT OF THAT GUY!
After I left one of my friends turned to the mulla and told him that our friend has hots for your sister and he too left
Islam is the most sexually hung up religion in the world. No wonder they are nuts, what with the women wrapped up like the fucking Mummy and risking hell everytime they rub one out. But do not fear, Feel The Love Enterprises has products that can help even these heathens. Our specially made "Imam Mamma" glasses have Halle Beri's naked nookies holographed on the inside of our patented "Crazy Muslim Buddy Holly Horn Rims" , with computer technology that will superimpose over the eye slits of your dad's wrapped-up fourteen year old forced-marriage bitches. Couple with our own battery operated wireless remote control product that we like to call "Al Fatah Fuck Fist", it can result in one of the holiest of holy orgasm as you dream of LaTifa's holiest of holies. This month only, one tube of Hot and Stinky sex lube, endorsed exclusively by the Turkish penal system, is included gratis, sheep of course, are extra. Just ask this man, who is demonstrating our product (edited for decency, of course):


Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

-President Barack Obama, 1st Inaugural address

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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-08-2007, 10:50 PM
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Send him to me. I will introduce him to a female snake handling Pentecostal Evangelist who will straighten him out and have him believing in a level of fundamentalism that he could only dream of. I have known Sister Bathsheba since she and I were both 5. Folks would come from miles around to see that conversion.

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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-08-2007, 10:53 PM
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This thread actually makes me think whether OP is for real.
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 07-08-2007, 10:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Designo_E320
He was just giving a very nice lecture about peace in Islam so I went to the auditorium to listen. He said pretty cool things and all in all it was a very good lecture which was carefully researched and well presented.
During the lunch break my friends and I had a chance to meet him and sat at his table to mingle with him and sort of brown-nose with our Medical School professors at the same time.
He pointed to me and asked my name and where I was from, so I told him my name and said that I was from the States. He immediately said that there is a lot of social immorality there to which I wholeheartedly agree, given that this was somewhat of a religious venue. Then he also talked about how most American woman are and have been sexually active and have had many many many partners before she finally settles down, and how there are so many abortions, murders, and rapes, and incest there. Even though I was agreeing with what he was saying because in was INFACT the truth I was becoming VERY UNEASY and didn't know how to end it so I just kept on nodding to the facts that he was presenting me. The more he talked shit about America the more I was becoming uneasy and he could see that and to comfort me he would give me a smile. Now I was getting really pissed off.
THEN the subject shifted to MASTURBATION! Now I have been the KING of Whacking OFF in my days so I thought that I would know a quite a lot on this subject. He started saying how even this was very immoral. I knew I could get him now! I know for a FACT that it is OK to masturbate in ISLAM! He, I knew would makes up some BS and make it seem like its against the religion and I knew he was about to give me some BS about it so my ears pointed up as I really wanted to concentrate on EVERY word and trap him! Here is what he said, " Masturbation with your right hand is the same as having sex with you sister and masturbation with your left hand is the same as having sex with your own mother." He then asked me if I had masturbated and I told him "yes". He asked me what I would do from now onwards after learning what he said. I told him that I would ask the mullah if he would use HIS RIGHT hand to perform masturbation on me!
The whole table went quiet and some of the professors started to laugh so hard that their drinks were coming out of their noses. I was disgusted and left the table STUNNING THE HELL OUT OF THAT GUY!
After I left one of my friends turned to the mulla and told him that our friend has hots for your sister and he too left
Brilliant. Lucky for you this did not happen on the mullahs turf.
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